for St Patrick's Boarding School5/26/2010 c4 CONVERSEically Obsessed
Okay just a question, but do you have red hair in real life? Cause i have flaming red hair and when you said sh ewore pink i about had a heart attack... Wearing pink when you have red hair is like... a bad mistake lol! It makes ur hair look super wierd... like really wierd... Lol anyway i like it so far, keep writing!
Okay just a question, but do you have red hair in real life? Cause i have flaming red hair and when you said sh ewore pink i about had a heart attack... Wearing pink when you have red hair is like... a bad mistake lol! It makes ur hair look super wierd... like really wierd... Lol anyway i like it so far, keep writing!
5/25/2010 c5 fullybooked
Aww! that was kinda sad!
But I really love the story though.
Hope you can update soon.
Aww! that was kinda sad!
But I really love the story though.
Hope you can update soon.
5/24/2010 c5 
211cina24
Wow, tough relationship with her father. Makes the story all the more interesting[:
I enjoyed these chapters so much!
Seems like that one Dub-whateverhisname is, is going to run into Elizabeth's remarks quite often.
I like the fighting, I want to see more of it!
Good so far, please update soon!:)
211cina24Wow, tough relationship with her father. Makes the story all the more interesting[:
I enjoyed these chapters so much!
Seems like that one Dub-whateverhisname is, is going to run into Elizabeth's remarks quite often.
I like the fighting, I want to see more of it!
Good so far, please update soon!:)
5/24/2010 c5 2InnocentSarcasm
you write awsome !
really good
i have a feeling i would want to kick the headmasters ass quite soon
anyways ...
UPDATE SOON!
2InnocentSarcasmyou write awsome !
really good
i have a feeling i would want to kick the headmasters ass quite soon
anyways ...
UPDATE SOON!
3/15/2009 c4 surfergirlXxX
hey
ur story is awsome you really got to continue it and when you add another chapter plz send me an email at
hey
ur story is awsome you really got to continue it and when you add another chapter plz send me an email at
8/18/2008 c2 7Cittywolf
Hi.
After reading chapter 1 and some of 2, I think you should go bak a revise a little.
1. How can she be good at football because her dad loves sports, when she hasn't seen him in 6 years?
2.She went for a run. She decided to run through the forest. When she got to the river...
You see how flat it sounds? I suggest you go back and imagine yourself running through a forest. What do you hear? What do you smell? What do you feel beneath your feet or on your skin? Before coming to a river, wouldn't you hear it? Wouldn't you be able to smell the water?
Little details like that are very good in giving realism to stories and creating a picture and characters that make sense.
Also, just one more thing. I understand how you'd like to have a hot chick with hot guys, but it alwasy adds more depth and interest to a character when their flaws are examined straight out. To say she was hot, beautiful and had brilliant red hair isn't descriptive enough. The reader gets a very shallow picture of the heroine.
Anyway, good concept.
Cittywolf.
7CittywolfHi.
After reading chapter 1 and some of 2, I think you should go bak a revise a little.
1. How can she be good at football because her dad loves sports, when she hasn't seen him in 6 years?
2.She went for a run. She decided to run through the forest. When she got to the river...
You see how flat it sounds? I suggest you go back and imagine yourself running through a forest. What do you hear? What do you smell? What do you feel beneath your feet or on your skin? Before coming to a river, wouldn't you hear it? Wouldn't you be able to smell the water?
Little details like that are very good in giving realism to stories and creating a picture and characters that make sense.
Also, just one more thing. I understand how you'd like to have a hot chick with hot guys, but it alwasy adds more depth and interest to a character when their flaws are examined straight out. To say she was hot, beautiful and had brilliant red hair isn't descriptive enough. The reader gets a very shallow picture of the heroine.
Anyway, good concept.
Cittywolf.
8/11/2008 c4 6Catherine Kate
OH Crap!
Anthony needs to hurry!
Crossing my finger that whatever behind that door isn't trouble!
I never thought a freaking suspense is in this story...
Why did the headmaster don't want Anthony there again? I was a little confused why he needs to keep his daughter away from his nephew.
Still wondering...
Hoping you'll continue this...
-catherine_kate-
6Catherine KateOH Crap!
Anthony needs to hurry!
Crossing my finger that whatever behind that door isn't trouble!
I never thought a freaking suspense is in this story...
Why did the headmaster don't want Anthony there again? I was a little confused why he needs to keep his daughter away from his nephew.
Still wondering...
Hoping you'll continue this...
-catherine_kate-
8/11/2008 c3 Catherine Kate
OH Crap!
THAT is horrible! She's a painful past reminder for her mother who took care of her, and an obstacle to her father who is always been away from her...
OUCH!
I hate to read such letter from anyone about me. Especially if from a parent.
I am hoping you continue this one...
-catherine_kate-
OH Crap!
THAT is horrible! She's a painful past reminder for her mother who took care of her, and an obstacle to her father who is always been away from her...
OUCH!
I hate to read such letter from anyone about me. Especially if from a parent.
I am hoping you continue this one...
-catherine_kate-
2/26/2008 c4 1Jevanminx
Oh trouble for them, cant wait to find out what happens next, that was a brilliant cliffhanger.
JM
1JevanminxOh trouble for them, cant wait to find out what happens next, that was a brilliant cliffhanger.
JM
2/19/2008 c3 simplycarol
this was a short chapter.
haha.
it was pretty good i guess.
well
anyway
update soon
this was a short chapter.
haha.
it was pretty good i guess.
well
anyway
update soon
2/18/2008 c3 Apollo Versaeus
AWESOME! I am completely decked out after Chapter 3. You have some spelling errors, but I doubt anyone would notice. The descriptions were short, clearcut, and to the point. Very visual...and everyone can relate or wish they could relate with the storyline. Great startoff, be careful though, don't get so involved in Mark Murray, Anthony, and Charlie that you forget the other several hundred boys attening the school who'll obviously be interested. You got me smiling by the start of chapter 1. Keep going, I hope you get another chapter out soon. Looking forward to it.
AWESOME! I am completely decked out after Chapter 3. You have some spelling errors, but I doubt anyone would notice. The descriptions were short, clearcut, and to the point. Very visual...and everyone can relate or wish they could relate with the storyline. Great startoff, be careful though, don't get so involved in Mark Murray, Anthony, and Charlie that you forget the other several hundred boys attening the school who'll obviously be interested. You got me smiling by the start of chapter 1. Keep going, I hope you get another chapter out soon. Looking forward to it.