for Horrorscape II2/4/2009 c18 
1weeeangie
i can't wait for the re-write...i wanna know if they get married or something like that.
1weeeangiei can't wait for the re-write...i wanna know if they get married or something like that.
1/19/2009 c19 weeeangie
come on here has to be more! ah! i like the storyline its just that there should be more!
come on here has to be more! ah! i like the storyline its just that there should be more!
1/8/2009 c19 2The Jet Black Hotel Mirror
I want you to know that I VERY much enjoyed both parts of this story (although I never really got the chance to finish the first part since you are rewriting it). However, I've spent a lot of time going through the chapters of HSII and there are some things that are bugging me. There are a lot of aspects of this story that seemed really unnatural. First of all, it doesn't make sense that Val would so easily sleep with him. I did not see that coming at all. Judging from the way that she flinches whenever he so much as touches her in the first couple of chapters, it doesn't make sense that she would do something as risque as that. It just seems very spontaneous and goes against the natural flow of her character. Second of all, Val loves him? Judging from his previous actions, GM really hasn't done anything that would make her fall in love with him. I mean, this is the guy who tried to drown and kill her! It is far more believable that the feeling she is experiencing is lust. Or maybe something akin to Stockholm Syndrome. Hah, I might just be analyzing this way too much, but I must say that I love the psychological kick in this story. Third and finally, the ending is rather abrupt. What happens to Mary? And how does GM figure out where Val is? Does Vance die? How does our beloved couple's relationship turn out? When you are writing the second draft of your story, you may want to consider these things. Or you could completely disregard everything I've said because I am a crazy lunatic. xD Keep in mind, I really don't mean to discourage you at all, and I'm just trying to give ya some constructive criticsm. I am thoroughly awed by your talent and I look forward to more of your writing. You're simply amazing. :D Good luck! xoxo
2The Jet Black Hotel MirrorI want you to know that I VERY much enjoyed both parts of this story (although I never really got the chance to finish the first part since you are rewriting it). However, I've spent a lot of time going through the chapters of HSII and there are some things that are bugging me. There are a lot of aspects of this story that seemed really unnatural. First of all, it doesn't make sense that Val would so easily sleep with him. I did not see that coming at all. Judging from the way that she flinches whenever he so much as touches her in the first couple of chapters, it doesn't make sense that she would do something as risque as that. It just seems very spontaneous and goes against the natural flow of her character. Second of all, Val loves him? Judging from his previous actions, GM really hasn't done anything that would make her fall in love with him. I mean, this is the guy who tried to drown and kill her! It is far more believable that the feeling she is experiencing is lust. Or maybe something akin to Stockholm Syndrome. Hah, I might just be analyzing this way too much, but I must say that I love the psychological kick in this story. Third and finally, the ending is rather abrupt. What happens to Mary? And how does GM figure out where Val is? Does Vance die? How does our beloved couple's relationship turn out? When you are writing the second draft of your story, you may want to consider these things. Or you could completely disregard everything I've said because I am a crazy lunatic. xD Keep in mind, I really don't mean to discourage you at all, and I'm just trying to give ya some constructive criticsm. I am thoroughly awed by your talent and I look forward to more of your writing. You're simply amazing. :D Good luck! xoxo
12/6/2008 c19 Misaki Kaito
Oh! You are plain EVIL! LUV the story, tho...XD
Oh! You are plain EVIL! LUV the story, tho...XD
11/22/2008 c19 4Evasiveshadow
I really like your story and all the angst and stuff, but I'm kind of confused about your ending. Explain, please?
4EvasiveshadowI really like your story and all the angst and stuff, but I'm kind of confused about your ending. Explain, please?
11/13/2008 c19 Xiufen
Oh.
haha. this is the end? omg. I'm really glad it wasn't gory though.
Ah! I really like the way you made the characters so alive. terrifying.
(:
your words are so enthralling. you don't resort to cheap devices to scare people. you are, genuinely, um, authentically, freaky? haha sorry I lack vocabulary but this was just a really scary story (horrorscape I) and I was afraid to be in the dark.
Well, I like the lustful love thing, it makes perfect sense to me. I really love the part where he enchanted her into taking her virginity too!
amazing.
valerian is such a beautiful name.
I don't understand why jade died though. am I stupid? did I read too fast? oh shit. I feel really dumb.
I'm confused about Mary too, haha.
your writing is pretty mind blowing. really, really dreamy. in a very graphical nightmare sort of way.
erie! (:
thanks for sharing this story with us, it was a pretty... surreal trip.
you are such a great writer. *awed*
ohoh yeah I love horrorscape! the plot is perfect.
Oh.
haha. this is the end? omg. I'm really glad it wasn't gory though.
Ah! I really like the way you made the characters so alive. terrifying.
(:
your words are so enthralling. you don't resort to cheap devices to scare people. you are, genuinely, um, authentically, freaky? haha sorry I lack vocabulary but this was just a really scary story (horrorscape I) and I was afraid to be in the dark.
Well, I like the lustful love thing, it makes perfect sense to me. I really love the part where he enchanted her into taking her virginity too!
amazing.
valerian is such a beautiful name.
I don't understand why jade died though. am I stupid? did I read too fast? oh shit. I feel really dumb.
I'm confused about Mary too, haha.
your writing is pretty mind blowing. really, really dreamy. in a very graphical nightmare sort of way.
erie! (:
thanks for sharing this story with us, it was a pretty... surreal trip.
you are such a great writer. *awed*
ohoh yeah I love horrorscape! the plot is perfect.
10/30/2008 c19 Jazzytea
Interesting. Going through your Horrorscape...I figured hell, this is probably going to be good. And it was. However, on some suggestions (though I'm not entirely sure whether or not you intended this to be so...) perhaps a little more background as to why the hell GM wants her anyways? Or, I suppose, more background on GM himself. He is such an enigma. Or maybe he's the personification of every girl's dark fantasy and because of the lack of information, each person can view him in a different way? Or maybe I'm analyzing this too much. LOL. Regardless, I like GM. I don't know why. Probably the dark fantasy deal, but how the heck did he get away with those murders? And why does Val LOVE him? She knows nothing about him. Is it all lust? From what I read, it seems to be. Feelings shmealings, if he was ugly, she probably would never love him. I don't know. I'm not hating on this story, I'm just hating on the lustful love thing. Because, in my opinion, that's not real love. It's a selfish love, and that's why so many of us want it. We're selfish, and we want someone to love us and to make us feel good. That's my analysis.
Lol, I never intended majority of the above to be in this review, but hey, great story! LOL I just wished there were more details. Like what happened to Mary. Or maybe a more solidified ending for the couple. What happened after that? Are they in a relationship? Does all the drama-hunkydory stop? Does Val ever have a normal life? And what about the end of uh...Blindfold Chess, was it? Was there supposed to be a purpose/ending/significance? Maybe I haven't been reading intently enough and skipped over some parts, I don't know, but hey you wanted feedback, and those are my questions :D
Did I mention I liked the story? A lot? It started out as a horror-zomg suspense kinda movie deal. But it transpired to uh, villain-hero thing. This is too long. Anyways, I await for your rewrites, and perhaps a response from you, but I won't expect too much. :D Thanks for writing this story! It was a great distraction from homework. -Jaz
Interesting. Going through your Horrorscape...I figured hell, this is probably going to be good. And it was. However, on some suggestions (though I'm not entirely sure whether or not you intended this to be so...) perhaps a little more background as to why the hell GM wants her anyways? Or, I suppose, more background on GM himself. He is such an enigma. Or maybe he's the personification of every girl's dark fantasy and because of the lack of information, each person can view him in a different way? Or maybe I'm analyzing this too much. LOL. Regardless, I like GM. I don't know why. Probably the dark fantasy deal, but how the heck did he get away with those murders? And why does Val LOVE him? She knows nothing about him. Is it all lust? From what I read, it seems to be. Feelings shmealings, if he was ugly, she probably would never love him. I don't know. I'm not hating on this story, I'm just hating on the lustful love thing. Because, in my opinion, that's not real love. It's a selfish love, and that's why so many of us want it. We're selfish, and we want someone to love us and to make us feel good. That's my analysis.
Lol, I never intended majority of the above to be in this review, but hey, great story! LOL I just wished there were more details. Like what happened to Mary. Or maybe a more solidified ending for the couple. What happened after that? Are they in a relationship? Does all the drama-hunkydory stop? Does Val ever have a normal life? And what about the end of uh...Blindfold Chess, was it? Was there supposed to be a purpose/ending/significance? Maybe I haven't been reading intently enough and skipped over some parts, I don't know, but hey you wanted feedback, and those are my questions :D
Did I mention I liked the story? A lot? It started out as a horror-zomg suspense kinda movie deal. But it transpired to uh, villain-hero thing. This is too long. Anyways, I await for your rewrites, and perhaps a response from you, but I won't expect too much. :D Thanks for writing this story! It was a great distraction from homework. -Jaz
10/19/2008 c19 Cryssy
I like the ending very much. I'd prefer you not change it. Even add some more sappy things like proclamation of undying love or something like this. Anyway, great work. You know I almost fell in love with GM nevertheless he is a little psycho. Keep writing, you're great!
I like the ending very much. I'd prefer you not change it. Even add some more sappy things like proclamation of undying love or something like this. Anyway, great work. You know I almost fell in love with GM nevertheless he is a little psycho. Keep writing, you're great!
10/7/2008 c19 30october lies
i fucking love your writing. you add a bit of horror and mystery and suspense i can not find anywhere else and i absolutely love it. i love the way you've created valerian and "gm", despite how we don't know his birthname. the twist of how she never calls him his real name, and hardly by anything at all, really drew me into this. this is fucking amazing. but where's mary?
30october liesi fucking love your writing. you add a bit of horror and mystery and suspense i can not find anywhere else and i absolutely love it. i love the way you've created valerian and "gm", despite how we don't know his birthname. the twist of how she never calls him his real name, and hardly by anything at all, really drew me into this. this is fucking amazing. but where's mary?
10/6/2008 c11 7vermillion-dream
I had no idea you'd made a sequel to the first, though I don't recall the first ever ending unless you're currently re doing the chapters, I've obviously missed alot, but the sequel is just as delicious as the first, I hope you do update soon, for both of the stories. Unless of course the first is complete, and you just decided to leave the ending up to us only feeding us these little excerpts from the sequel. I'll be watching to see if you do update.
~Vermillion
7vermillion-dreamI had no idea you'd made a sequel to the first, though I don't recall the first ever ending unless you're currently re doing the chapters, I've obviously missed alot, but the sequel is just as delicious as the first, I hope you do update soon, for both of the stories. Unless of course the first is complete, and you just decided to leave the ending up to us only feeding us these little excerpts from the sequel. I'll be watching to see if you do update.
~Vermillion
8/20/2008 c19 17x-zai
omgosh..its finished!
i like the ending..slightly sappy, but in a good way..not too sappy or out of character.. :)
but im kinda confused about hte mary thing..so did GM2 never kidnap/kill mary (cuz there was no one in the trunk)?
still, all in all, this was an awesome fic, and i cant wait to read more of your stuff!＾＾
17x-zaiomgosh..its finished!
i like the ending..slightly sappy, but in a good way..not too sappy or out of character.. :)
but im kinda confused about hte mary thing..so did GM2 never kidnap/kill mary (cuz there was no one in the trunk)?
still, all in all, this was an awesome fic, and i cant wait to read more of your stuff!＾＾
8/5/2008 c19 7ARose'sTear
Aw. I am sorta sad that it is over, but I am excited to read the new ending and the prequel. I hate the second GM he was just horrible, but I do feel a little bad about his sister.
~Casey
7ARose'sTearAw. I am sorta sad that it is over, but I am excited to read the new ending and the prequel. I hate the second GM he was just horrible, but I do feel a little bad about his sister.
~Casey
8/5/2008 c19 1Acts.of.Whimsy
*sniffles* THAT WAS AWESOME! I LOVE GM SO MUCH NOW! :,] I love it just the way it is, hun. I'm so glad I found your story. Ah, man. Now I wish I had a Favorite Favorites List. Cause you'd own it. Haha. Now I need to read your other stories. Woohoo!
Until next time.
~Acts.of.Whimsy
1Acts.of.Whimsy*sniffles* THAT WAS AWESOME! I LOVE GM SO MUCH NOW! :,] I love it just the way it is, hun. I'm so glad I found your story. Ah, man. Now I wish I had a Favorite Favorites List. Cause you'd own it. Haha. Now I need to read your other stories. Woohoo!
Until next time.
~Acts.of.Whimsy
8/4/2008 c19 Terras1fan-inactive
Whoa, the ending, already? I agree that it was slightly sappy, perhaps, too much for such a story. However, I did like GM's last line about the antidote to poison. I wish you would have elaborate GM's history more, considering how we got to see those pictures and everything in that mansion... well, I thought you would have tied it together and explain GM more thoroughly.
Still, I'm glad that you didn't make him lame in the end. He was still creepy and unrestrained GM, which is sexy in the whole "I'm evil" way. Really, it doesn't make sense, lol.
My suggestion give a bit more GM background and make Vance less noticeable, because I figured it was him a chapter or two ago (uncertain, but fairly certain). Oh, and I love the Charlie twist - I didn't expect her brother to be involved. :)
Oh, and Mary should have had a bit bigger of a role in the ending or something. I sorta liked Mary. XD
You did a great job.
The end.
- Terra
Whoa, the ending, already? I agree that it was slightly sappy, perhaps, too much for such a story. However, I did like GM's last line about the antidote to poison. I wish you would have elaborate GM's history more, considering how we got to see those pictures and everything in that mansion... well, I thought you would have tied it together and explain GM more thoroughly.
Still, I'm glad that you didn't make him lame in the end. He was still creepy and unrestrained GM, which is sexy in the whole "I'm evil" way. Really, it doesn't make sense, lol.
My suggestion give a bit more GM background and make Vance less noticeable, because I figured it was him a chapter or two ago (uncertain, but fairly certain). Oh, and I love the Charlie twist - I didn't expect her brother to be involved. :)
Oh, and Mary should have had a bit bigger of a role in the ending or something. I sorta liked Mary. XD
You did a great job.
The end.
- Terra