for The Jetsetter's Summer2/15/2008 c2 Crane Daitkai
Haha, pretty daring to name the Ellen Degeneres show, but you got the mannerisms down, and it seems plausible. The transitioned are fudged by the fiction press formatting, same thing happened to me when I would upload. It's up to you, but I've received complaints about it- I figure the text speaks for itself when a transition happens but I thought I'd let you know.
This looks like a nice story, fairly interesting thus far. I withold my comments on plot until a few chapters but since this is already written previously I know this is going somewhere so you have my faith, I do the same thing. And other than a few MINOR hiccups, the grammar is quite smooth.
All in all, it's not so much to give everything away, but just enough to keep me interested. Good job.
Haha, pretty daring to name the Ellen Degeneres show, but you got the mannerisms down, and it seems plausible. The transitioned are fudged by the fiction press formatting, same thing happened to me when I would upload. It's up to you, but I've received complaints about it- I figure the text speaks for itself when a transition happens but I thought I'd let you know.
This looks like a nice story, fairly interesting thus far. I withold my comments on plot until a few chapters but since this is already written previously I know this is going somewhere so you have my faith, I do the same thing. And other than a few MINOR hiccups, the grammar is quite smooth.
All in all, it's not so much to give everything away, but just enough to keep me interested. Good job.
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