for Someday7/14/2008 c1 
15Lorki
Your review was pretty cool, I must say. And out of both admiration for your poetry style and thanks for your kind (and quite interesting) reviews you get more too! What a wonderful world.
I like that you play with formatting. I use to have a different FP account with lots of poetry and lots of weird lines and format just because I found it fun, but I got a whole lot of heat for some of it. A lot of the "Nice word choice but...wtf?" type reviews.
Either way I like the way this is put together, it may look a little messy at first glance but it makes sense the way it is.
-Lorki
15LorkiYour review was pretty cool, I must say. And out of both admiration for your poetry style and thanks for your kind (and quite interesting) reviews you get more too! What a wonderful world.
I like that you play with formatting. I use to have a different FP account with lots of poetry and lots of weird lines and format just because I found it fun, but I got a whole lot of heat for some of it. A lot of the "Nice word choice but...wtf?" type reviews.
Either way I like the way this is put together, it may look a little messy at first glance but it makes sense the way it is.
-Lorki
2/29/2008 c1 56felicia13
I loved there at the end, the contrast of
"Let's go
let go." Amazing. Awesome work, really.
Defintely the best of the three. Formatting was a little weird. Can't say I loved it. But, in a weird way, I guess it worked. That's pushing it a little. Maybe not so much with the working... maybe it almost worked, but I can't make that jump just yet.
*shrugs* Whatever. It was pretty good. I'm glad you're back(ish) again. *hugs*
Always,
Felicia.
56felicia13I loved there at the end, the contrast of
"Let's go
let go." Amazing. Awesome work, really.
Defintely the best of the three. Formatting was a little weird. Can't say I loved it. But, in a weird way, I guess it worked. That's pushing it a little. Maybe not so much with the working... maybe it almost worked, but I can't make that jump just yet.
*shrugs* Whatever. It was pretty good. I'm glad you're back(ish) again. *hugs*
Always,
Felicia.
2/24/2008 c1 Your secret admirer
I love this! Agh. You sicken me, you evil amazing poet you.
Grr you.
I love this! Agh. You sicken me, you evil amazing poet you.
Grr you.
2/23/2008 c1 612simpleplan13
I like the formatting too... it's well done.. I really love hte personification in the beginning and the descriptions at the end.. nice job
Two things:
"But in your eyes/certain surprise"... I might put some comas there
"Blankets, cocoa, classic novels"... It seems a bit too long for the rest of the stanza so I might split it into two lines..
Still a really beautiful piece.. I like it a lot
PS If you're bored today check out the review game's review marathon.. there's a link in my profile
612simpleplan13I like the formatting too... it's well done.. I really love hte personification in the beginning and the descriptions at the end.. nice job
Two things:
"But in your eyes/certain surprise"... I might put some comas there
"Blankets, cocoa, classic novels"... It seems a bit too long for the rest of the stanza so I might split it into two lines..
Still a really beautiful piece.. I like it a lot
PS If you're bored today check out the review game's review marathon.. there's a link in my profile
2/23/2008 c1 Fractured Illusion
There is a nice flow to this, and it's all just so smooth when you read it. Well done.
Except for this part: "coldcoldcold"
I don't get that... Maybe it's an expression for a poetic style, but I am not fond of it. I think, in poetry as in stories, the author needs to follow the grammar and spelling of the chosen language. That is why I have a problem with that little teeny part :P
The ending, by the way, let's go - let go? I am confused. Does that not mean they get a happy ending (let go)?
It's a good poem, but I'd want a bit of a clearer ending, please.
- Frac from the review marathon sponsored by the review game (link in profile)
There is a nice flow to this, and it's all just so smooth when you read it. Well done.
Except for this part: "coldcoldcold"
I don't get that... Maybe it's an expression for a poetic style, but I am not fond of it. I think, in poetry as in stories, the author needs to follow the grammar and spelling of the chosen language. That is why I have a problem with that little teeny part :P
The ending, by the way, let's go - let go? I am confused. Does that not mean they get a happy ending (let go)?
It's a good poem, but I'd want a bit of a clearer ending, please.
- Frac from the review marathon sponsored by the review game (link in profile)