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for Better Than a Hobo

9/19/2008 c1 4A. J. Manders
I already wrote another review for a different story, but since this one was about hobos, for some reason I couldn't resist at least saying something.

One, I like this, and thought it was a good short story from just a simple prompt. It's funny how creative you can get with prompts...

The characters were good. "Larry" was believeable as well as the girl...for some reason she reminds me of the charater Juno.

"Where's my philosophical hobo?"

(It just sounds like something Juno would say...minus the purple hair, of course...)

Niice, this made me smile, thanks for the good read! :D
2/23/2008 c1 4kittyluvr1
Good story about a teen girl spilling out her guts to the hot dog vendor.
2/23/2008 c1 20FantasyIssue
This was interesting. I clicked on it by chance, and I enjoyed it. Larry is a great character and I enjoy his persona and just his character all together. The way you portrayed him is great. The girl on the other hand, not so much. She seems ...dumb, if I can put it in that sense. I didn't believe her character for a second. So, to say the least, you might want to work on her character. I liked her at first, but then it just kind of died a little for me. She sort of faded, I guess.

Overall, though, I really liked Larry's character and the awkward situation. It's probably something that happens everyday and no one realizes. =]
2/23/2008 c1 92burning in effigy
omg. this made me giggle really hard.

reminds me of something that happened to my friend. she was driving back from a camp somewhere and the bus passed a hobo on the side of the freeway who was holding a 'i need weed' cardboard sign and everytime anyone ever mentions hobos, i think of weed. exciting huh? lol

and i really like the quirkiness of the girl (reminds me of my friend because she owns a short plaid skirt and dyed part of hair bright red even though it's fading) and how the guy is really confused but not. and this whole thing is pretty funny :]

really liked the ending too. there's this guy in my orchestra who plays cello but i never knew his name so i called/named him davis because he looks like a davis but then i found out his name is actually ian. whatever. i'm still calling him davis.

oh and you're a good writer if you call pull something like this out of the line "Where's my philosophical hobo?" lmao :]
2/23/2008 c1 Thracian
Nice penname by the way, it's partly why I read this...but really the summary caught my attention. I found Larry to be a very believable and likable character. His responses and gestures were what made me think he was the only normal character. The girl on the other hand...She seemed really fake like I thought she was around 10 by the way she was acting until you mentioned she trashed her boyfriends car. I don't know I think you could work on her a little more but that's totally up to you. This story was entertaining throughout and I did like it so, nice job.

-Detox, participant of the Review Marathon (link in profile)

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