for Lyric's from the heart11/8/2008 c1 
10Mystery Hunter
Those are some really good lyrics.
Damn...I wish I could write songs like that.
10Mystery HunterThose are some really good lyrics.
Damn...I wish I could write songs like that.
2/29/2008 c1 612simpleplan13
One day your better,... you're
The next day your worse,... you're
Your last breath you’re taken,... you've taken or you're taking
Of how you’re making me feel,... for
Your last breath your taking... you're
(Such a lier)...liar
A bit of a tense issue here... at the end I understand what happened, but before that the tenses were confusing...
the hearse line should be in future tense because they didn't succeed, no?
then you have the last breath you're taking (which is present) and what were you thinking (which is past)
I like this... it sounds like it'd flow well and I like the ending a lot... I was not expecting it and the last line was really powerful
612simpleplan13One day your better,... you're
The next day your worse,... you're
Your last breath you’re taken,... you've taken or you're taking
Of how you’re making me feel,... for
Your last breath your taking... you're
(Such a lier)...liar
A bit of a tense issue here... at the end I understand what happened, but before that the tenses were confusing...
the hearse line should be in future tense because they didn't succeed, no?
then you have the last breath you're taking (which is present) and what were you thinking (which is past)
I like this... it sounds like it'd flow well and I like the ending a lot... I was not expecting it and the last line was really powerful