Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for The China Doll's Heart

4/21/2008 c1 10FUjiwaRA AyuMi
I really like this one (the first chapter), something I can relate to. Unbelievably, I have a draft which I have yet the time to edit it to my liking, titled "Broken Porcelain Doll", which is similar yet not. Yours is much more beautifully written, love it!
3/12/2008 c1 130D351
I think it's good. It sounds like a spell, and a well-written one at that (a rare thing indeed). And at the same time, it also invokes a lot of imagery from asian horror movies that works in a way. Asian movie-ghosts tend to come off as far more complicated and also tend to be inhabiting dolls, from what I've seen... Just don't go using this to curse anybody... unless they've earned it.
3/12/2008 c2 48The Reverse Edge Blade
I like the shortness of the poem and the setup, although maybe this poem was a little harder to understand than the first one. It's easy to see that you have a true message behind your words and that you wanted someone to hear them. Although it's hard to see what you mean, it's a good poetic tone in the poem!

The Reverse Edge Blade
3/12/2008 c1 The Reverse Edge Blade
This was really nice! It had a nice ring to it and a good setup with the breaking up of sentences. I liked the words you used to describe the emotions and how you portrayed the fragile emotions as a porcelain doll. Great job with this!

The Reverse Edge Blade
3/10/2008 c2 1shayna cale
Hi! Your work is so simple, uncomplicated and yet, so stunningly brilliant! I love the contrast betwwen easy flow of this poem and the weighting and depth of the words. I would never have found your work if you hadn't sent a review of mine, which was greatly appreciated by the way. So, Thank you! I look forward to reading more of your work! You had mentioned the weird coincidence of us both studying Shelley, well I've found another. Your pen-name is like a favourite flower, the Streletzia, in my country South Africa! I hope you don't mind the long review. Bye!
3/6/2008 c2 84tehlessthan3of0scoreintennis
It was kinda confusing, but better than the last. Great job!
3/3/2008 c1 4tehlessthan3of0scoreintennis
I don't think that needs any work, but it would be good it there were. I like the metaphors, and it flowed so well. Can't wait to see the final outcome. Keep writing!
3/3/2008 c1 Anon
there is som confusion here bout the tone - sudden shift to "thee's and "thy's" so...maybe a bit of fixin there. Reli like it so far so will keep an eye on this

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service