7/19/2008 c16 8R.E.D. the animator
Yet another view point from the enemy army. From how this is going I'd almost say that perhaps Zach is fighting on the wrong side.
Yet another view point from the enemy army. From how this is going I'd almost say that perhaps Zach is fighting on the wrong side.
7/18/2008 c16 2FuzzyDoom
Centaurs? WTF? lol j/k Awesome story and I really like your writing. You are good and you'd better finish this story before my head explodes from the suspense! Also, since you have trouble with military ranks:
/personal/faculty/pocock/ranks.htm
I use that site alot so it'll probably help you a bit.
Centaurs? WTF? lol j/k Awesome story and I really like your writing. You are good and you'd better finish this story before my head explodes from the suspense! Also, since you have trouble with military ranks:
/personal/faculty/pocock/ranks.htm
I use that site alot so it'll probably help you a bit.
6/6/2008 c15 8R.E.D. the animator
Not a cliff hanger! NO!
Oh well. I hope Byrd get's what's comming to him.
Not a cliff hanger! NO!
Oh well. I hope Byrd get's what's comming to him.
6/6/2008 c12 2Yoseph
Sweet! They're fighting brits! Does this mean that the Eastern and western alliances are fighting in mixed company? Or do the EA and WA still exist?
Sweet! They're fighting brits! Does this mean that the Eastern and western alliances are fighting in mixed company? Or do the EA and WA still exist?
6/6/2008 c15 ilmiopassato
Nice action-packed chapters. I'm really interested in this Colonial Soldier thing, very mysterious and shady. And although Kristi seems pretty b*tchy to me so far (sleeping with people for entry, ew), I also get the feeling that there might be something more to her character than straight-up villiany. So I think I'll reserve judgment on her for now. Good job!
Nice action-packed chapters. I'm really interested in this Colonial Soldier thing, very mysterious and shady. And although Kristi seems pretty b*tchy to me so far (sleeping with people for entry, ew), I also get the feeling that there might be something more to her character than straight-up villiany. So I think I'll reserve judgment on her for now. Good job!
6/6/2008 c11 Yoseph
TWSN? What does that stand for? Twenty worlds ship navy? Why not TCS? Twenty colonies ship. It's shorter and esier to understand. Other than that, nice chapter.
TWSN? What does that stand for? Twenty worlds ship navy? Why not TCS? Twenty colonies ship. It's shorter and esier to understand. Other than that, nice chapter.
6/5/2008 c10 ilmiopassato
The FALARs sound really cool, and I've been enjoying these last few chapters. Sad about Zach's bro and buddies dying but, well, that's just war-so good job there with the realism.
The only thing that bothered me in this particular chapter was the ranks. I'm not sure if you're going for a different ranking system or not, but senior NCOs aren't made company commanders (and company commanders don't command battalions, either). Zach & Co. also had HUGE rank advancements, going from corporals to gunnery sergeants, so that's not really realistic. Also, it wouldn't be a commissioning, as that is a term used for becoming an officer.
Sorry about the long list of corrections, I'm really loving your story and I think it's great so far. Just thought I'd point those rank things out in case you weren't aware of them. I remember you sending me a PM about military terms before, so if you're unsure feel free to message me. I'll be glad to help you out. ;-)
The FALARs sound really cool, and I've been enjoying these last few chapters. Sad about Zach's bro and buddies dying but, well, that's just war-so good job there with the realism.
The only thing that bothered me in this particular chapter was the ranks. I'm not sure if you're going for a different ranking system or not, but senior NCOs aren't made company commanders (and company commanders don't command battalions, either). Zach & Co. also had HUGE rank advancements, going from corporals to gunnery sergeants, so that's not really realistic. Also, it wouldn't be a commissioning, as that is a term used for becoming an officer.
Sorry about the long list of corrections, I'm really loving your story and I think it's great so far. Just thought I'd point those rank things out in case you weren't aware of them. I remember you sending me a PM about military terms before, so if you're unsure feel free to message me. I'll be glad to help you out. ;-)
6/3/2008 c14 wilko4523
o intresting stuff
this coupe or reconstruction as they put it sounds intresting-it would be nice to have zach to return to is normal self but at what cost if he does join...
hugz
x
o intresting stuff
this coupe or reconstruction as they put it sounds intresting-it would be nice to have zach to return to is normal self but at what cost if he does join...
hugz
x