for 20 Questions and Multipule Makeout Sessions6/10/2014 c5 Guest
At which point, her best response would have been: True. I suppose that the same applies to you: You're a great kisser, but I could pay any gigalo to give me the same thing. In fact, it would be safer because at least they get checked out for diseases on a regular basis. Call me when you go Pro... perhaps then I'll be able to spare some change for a quick thrill.
At which point, her best response would have been: True. I suppose that the same applies to you: You're a great kisser, but I could pay any gigalo to give me the same thing. In fact, it would be safer because at least they get checked out for diseases on a regular basis. Call me when you go Pro... perhaps then I'll be able to spare some change for a quick thrill.
9/2/2013 c21 jerrellsgirl112606
Omg i loved this story it was amazing. You are an amazing wrighter keep up the great work!
Omg i loved this story it was amazing. You are an amazing wrighter keep up the great work!
4/8/2011 c2 Pranali
Sorry. Is would just like to say that if you are going to quote Shakespeare, please do it correctly. It is "deny thy father and refuse thy name"
Sorry. Is would just like to say that if you are going to quote Shakespeare, please do it correctly. It is "deny thy father and refuse thy name"
3/2/2011 c21 
2foodie98
hey! i dont usually comment much:D but THIS IS THE BEST STORY EVER! thanks for writing this:D
2foodie98hey! i dont usually comment much:D but THIS IS THE BEST STORY EVER! thanks for writing this:D
10/27/2010 c5 DLETE THIS OLD
Nice story so far but the thing i wanted to mention is that it's really annoying that every teacher's name is a blank. any way you can fix that?
Nice story so far but the thing i wanted to mention is that it's really annoying that every teacher's name is a blank. any way you can fix that?
7/31/2010 c21 Da-zGreen
Aww... What a cute ending. I loved this story! You did a FANTASTIC job! Hope to read more of your stories!
Aww... What a cute ending. I loved this story! You did a FANTASTIC job! Hope to read more of your stories!
5/16/2010 c12 kat
First unplanned teenage pregnancy and then rape; two of the top five cliches. Very hard to get past.
First unplanned teenage pregnancy and then rape; two of the top five cliches. Very hard to get past.
5/9/2010 c21 DancingBells
Awesome story. And I loved Star's name. Very awesome!
There was a fair few spelling mistakes, and all of the teaches names were just a blank spot. Were they meant to be?
Also, in this chapter, when Trey says 'Mind if I sit down?' When Star says 'Yeah.' That means yes, she minds, and she doesn't want him to sit there.
Sorry, I like doing this too much. Haha.
Good luck on any other stories you write.
Awesome story. And I loved Star's name. Very awesome!
There was a fair few spelling mistakes, and all of the teaches names were just a blank spot. Were they meant to be?
Also, in this chapter, when Trey says 'Mind if I sit down?' When Star says 'Yeah.' That means yes, she minds, and she doesn't want him to sit there.
Sorry, I like doing this too much. Haha.
Good luck on any other stories you write.
8/15/2009 c21 abbsi
great story, just one comment... The teacher's names are missing, just a blank spot instead. Makes it confusing.
great story, just one comment... The teacher's names are missing, just a blank spot instead. Makes it confusing.
5/25/2009 c8 65Counting Luv Toxic Stars
I like this story and the pace it's going at
It's very relaxing for some reason
Why don't you bother putting some names in? Like I've noticed
You leaving names out of sentences and having that spot completely blank
And at first I thought it was a mistake, but you did it again.
(this was towards the beginning of the story)
65Counting Luv Toxic StarsI like this story and the pace it's going at
It's very relaxing for some reason
Why don't you bother putting some names in? Like I've noticed
You leaving names out of sentences and having that spot completely blank
And at first I thought it was a mistake, but you did it again.
(this was towards the beginning of the story)
4/30/2009 c2 k
Again you need to edit. And you quoted Shakespeare wrong its "deny thy father and refuse thy name"
Again you need to edit. And you quoted Shakespeare wrong its "deny thy father and refuse thy name"
4/30/2009 c1 k
You need to do some editing. Sometimes your sentences don't make much sense. ex. paragraph about Drama teacher. You don't say her name or where she is in the room. You just have her talking all of a sudden, which is very confusing. Also you switched narration styles normally you write in 1st person but I noticed you switched to 3rd sometimes which can also be very confusing. (example part where Scalett is leaving and does not hear Trey calling her because she is too far away but I think the line should read "but I don't hear." or either you mixed up the names) I am really enjoying the story so far though!
You need to do some editing. Sometimes your sentences don't make much sense. ex. paragraph about Drama teacher. You don't say her name or where she is in the room. You just have her talking all of a sudden, which is very confusing. Also you switched narration styles normally you write in 1st person but I noticed you switched to 3rd sometimes which can also be very confusing. (example part where Scalett is leaving and does not hear Trey calling her because she is too far away but I think the line should read "but I don't hear." or either you mixed up the names) I am really enjoying the story so far though!