for To Save a Falling Country8/1/2009 c1 Danielle Gin
This was an interesting start to the story! I like that there's a bit of a mystery around Victoria. Not spilling all of her dirty secrets definitely makes me want to know more about her and why she's with this guy at such a late hour. And your descriptions were nice, also. I was able to get an idea of the setting and scene throughout the chapter. One thing, and this might just be me bing nit picky, but in the first paragraph you used the word "door" repeatedly close together. Changing it up would help keep the spark that all of your other paragraphs and lines have.
All in all, nice work! Keep it up!
This was an interesting start to the story! I like that there's a bit of a mystery around Victoria. Not spilling all of her dirty secrets definitely makes me want to know more about her and why she's with this guy at such a late hour. And your descriptions were nice, also. I was able to get an idea of the setting and scene throughout the chapter. One thing, and this might just be me bing nit picky, but in the first paragraph you used the word "door" repeatedly close together. Changing it up would help keep the spark that all of your other paragraphs and lines have.
All in all, nice work! Keep it up!
1/5/2009 c1 TheDreamStar
i like how the guard was reading crossword puzzle, that's how i would imagine it anyways.
i like how the guard was reading crossword puzzle, that's how i would imagine it anyways.
26/16/2008 c3 Casey Drake
I have the same thing, I think everyone's busy. It kind of sucks, and I'm sorry it's taken so long to read this.
I'm certainly interested by all of these characters.
:) CD
I have the same thing, I think everyone's busy. It kind of sucks, and I'm sorry it's taken so long to read this.
I'm certainly interested by all of these characters.
:) CD
3/14/2008 c1 Tempest
A lot of potential and to everyone who may think this is bland right now I heard from the writer that the storyline is going to get much deeper and stronger.
Definitely something you should follow.
A lot of potential and to everyone who may think this is bland right now I heard from the writer that the storyline is going to get much deeper and stronger.
Definitely something you should follow.