for Gone3/16/2008 c1 
59Tranquil Thorns
Nice beginning!
I'm interested about the story surrounding this little scenario. My suggestion would be to split up that large paragraph. Bring '“I just like being here when it rains.”' to the next line and so forth. Also, I'd like a little more description. What does the mom look like? You don't have to describe everything entirely; just give a small detail here and there so that the reader can envision this better.
59Tranquil ThornsNice beginning!
I'm interested about the story surrounding this little scenario. My suggestion would be to split up that large paragraph. Bring '“I just like being here when it rains.”' to the next line and so forth. Also, I'd like a little more description. What does the mom look like? You don't have to describe everything entirely; just give a small detail here and there so that the reader can envision this better.