for Shadow Soul3/18/2008 c1 goop
Nice start. Really positioned the reader to sympathise with the main character, i felt a pang of sadness for her. Reinforced with the last sentence. Keep up the good work.
Nice start. Really positioned the reader to sympathise with the main character, i felt a pang of sadness for her. Reinforced with the last sentence. Keep up the good work.
3/17/2008 c1 erftghyjukilopopikuyjtrge
Indeed, I'm a man of my word.
I found it to be a decent read. There were a couple parts where I didn't want to look away. You do a very good job of describing the mundane things. Maybe "mundane" isn't the word... maybe "simple"? Anyway, I rather enjoyed it.
On the other hand, I did notice a few spelling and grammar errors... but nothing major.
Gosh... I can't really follow the length of your review... ha ha.
BTW, in reply to your review:
Wat you read of "Blood Money" was just a first draft. I didn't really take a whole lot of time on it. I come up with ideas and then write them, without a whole lot of effort. However, if you want something a little more time-consuming, check out my main story, Dracon, Book I: Rebirth. I've been working on it for nearly eight years. Of course, I haven't bee WRITING it for eight years, but I've been perfecting the story and the background and such... you might enjoy it.
FONtheCON
Indeed, I'm a man of my word.
I found it to be a decent read. There were a couple parts where I didn't want to look away. You do a very good job of describing the mundane things. Maybe "mundane" isn't the word... maybe "simple"? Anyway, I rather enjoyed it.
On the other hand, I did notice a few spelling and grammar errors... but nothing major.
Gosh... I can't really follow the length of your review... ha ha.
BTW, in reply to your review:
Wat you read of "Blood Money" was just a first draft. I didn't really take a whole lot of time on it. I come up with ideas and then write them, without a whole lot of effort. However, if you want something a little more time-consuming, check out my main story, Dracon, Book I: Rebirth. I've been working on it for nearly eight years. Of course, I haven't bee WRITING it for eight years, but I've been perfecting the story and the background and such... you might enjoy it.
FONtheCON
3/17/2008 c1 Mintay Canday
Overall, I liked the story very much. I wasn't paying the closest attention for grammatical errors, so I did not see any, if there were any to be seen. I did, however, notice two off line breaks, though that may be my computer or the site itself. Now, the story itself has me anticipating the next chapter, though I would very much have liked more of a description of the main character. Is that coming next chapter? Like, at least a name. I would also like to know about these "packets" you mention as some sort of currency. But other than that, it was GREAT, and I hope to see a continuation.
Overall, I liked the story very much. I wasn't paying the closest attention for grammatical errors, so I did not see any, if there were any to be seen. I did, however, notice two off line breaks, though that may be my computer or the site itself. Now, the story itself has me anticipating the next chapter, though I would very much have liked more of a description of the main character. Is that coming next chapter? Like, at least a name. I would also like to know about these "packets" you mention as some sort of currency. But other than that, it was GREAT, and I hope to see a continuation.
3/17/2008 c1 Gingersinner
I enjoyed, in general, the way the story was wrote, however i believe the point of a review is always to outline the negative aspects rather than the positive, so that the author can better themselves, or work on weaknesses.
Firstly, for me, there was nto enough dialogue, it felt like more of a descriptive piece for the first half of the story, which i can find a bit tedious to read, and it does not grip the reader to a very high degree.
Secondly, i feel that if you were to develop this into anymore chapters, it would be good if you were to tell us a bit more about the character. readers enjoy the text more if they can relate to the character in question.
Other than that, i can see nothing which needs improving, and look forward ot any future installments :)
I enjoyed, in general, the way the story was wrote, however i believe the point of a review is always to outline the negative aspects rather than the positive, so that the author can better themselves, or work on weaknesses.
Firstly, for me, there was nto enough dialogue, it felt like more of a descriptive piece for the first half of the story, which i can find a bit tedious to read, and it does not grip the reader to a very high degree.
Secondly, i feel that if you were to develop this into anymore chapters, it would be good if you were to tell us a bit more about the character. readers enjoy the text more if they can relate to the character in question.
Other than that, i can see nothing which needs improving, and look forward ot any future installments :)