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for Things Behind the Sun

3/27/2008 c1 Ayakaishi Fei
I liked it, it was fascinating and you managed to bring the characters to life in quite a short piece, my only issue was with the dividers, it was easy to skim over them, and one of them I think was in the wrong place...

Aidan smiled at her and gave her a squeeze. “I’m sure he’s fine, Trish.”


Trisha sighed and cast one more longing glance to her yellow rain slicker, before turning to Aidan and wrapping her arms around his neck. “I hope you’re right.”

“Of course I am.” Aidan smiled and dove in for another kiss.

I think that one should have been further down.

Anyway, nicely done.
3/25/2008 c1 1ash1691
so far its okay. My only suggestion is to somehow show that you're going back. I got confused cause it would change suddenly. Keep on going :D

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