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3/27/2008 c1 Ayakaishi Fei
I liked it, it was fascinating and you managed to bring the characters to life in quite a short piece, my only issue was with the dividers, it was easy to skim over them, and one of them I think was in the wrong place...

Aidan smiled at her and gave her a squeeze. “I’m sure he’s fine, Trish.”

0

Trisha sighed and cast one more longing glance to her yellow rain slicker, before turning to Aidan and wrapping her arms around his neck. “I hope you’re right.”

“Of course I am.” Aidan smiled and dove in for another kiss.

I think that one should have been further down.

Anyway, nicely done.
3/25/2008 c1 1ash1691
so far its okay. My only suggestion is to somehow show that you're going back. I got confused cause it would change suddenly. Keep on going :D

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