for Only Listen12/27/2008 c1 
103Jesse the Storyteller
Hmm... the idea for this poem is rather cliche. I don't approve. You didn't take it somewhere very original, either.
"The words that come flying out my eyes into your ears" - this was a good line because it's unusual and hard to imagine, haha. But I like. :) However, the line following it: "And the words floating off from the top of my mind" is very overdone and unoriginal and bad. :( They clash! no good!
I like the first stanza of this, however. It is slightly contrasting, but very true, and I think many people can relate.
-Jesse
Attack of the review marathon! (link in profile)
103Jesse the StorytellerHmm... the idea for this poem is rather cliche. I don't approve. You didn't take it somewhere very original, either.
"The words that come flying out my eyes into your ears" - this was a good line because it's unusual and hard to imagine, haha. But I like. :) However, the line following it: "And the words floating off from the top of my mind" is very overdone and unoriginal and bad. :( They clash! no good!
I like the first stanza of this, however. It is slightly contrasting, but very true, and I think many people can relate.
-Jesse
Attack of the review marathon! (link in profile)
3/27/2008 c1 21briannanicole768
This was remarkable! It is so true and I can relate to it in many ways. Keep up the awesome work! :)
*Bri
21briannanicole768This was remarkable! It is so true and I can relate to it in many ways. Keep up the awesome work! :)
*Bri