for You Came With The Key5/22/2012 c1 the poison apple
This was a really cool story and very well-written! I kinda like james, not to sound like a sadist, but i did.
This was a really cool story and very well-written! I kinda like james, not to sound like a sadist, but i did.
10/24/2010 c1 BeanBagChair11
I love:
the order of these scenes
the plot
the character
the dialogue
the writing
this whole frickin' story.
x3
you are a superb writer. :) I love this so much, it's beautifully dark and beautiful. haha
I love:
the order of these scenes
the plot
the character
the dialogue
the writing
this whole frickin' story.
x3
you are a superb writer. :) I love this so much, it's beautifully dark and beautiful. haha
9/19/2008 c1 
76Novelist
Wonderful story- I especially liked the switching between situations. It gives a lot more suspense, as the reader has to wait to find out what happens next in each given time frame. As for your grammar, I was pleasantly surprised. A lot of writers on here hold no stock in proper punctuation and phrasing, and I find it often interferes with the story. I found no such problems with yours, and it certainly made the reading more delightful. Twisted, dark, and utterly to my liking. Good job!
76NovelistWonderful story- I especially liked the switching between situations. It gives a lot more suspense, as the reader has to wait to find out what happens next in each given time frame. As for your grammar, I was pleasantly surprised. A lot of writers on here hold no stock in proper punctuation and phrasing, and I find it often interferes with the story. I found no such problems with yours, and it certainly made the reading more delightful. Twisted, dark, and utterly to my liking. Good job!
3/29/2008 c1 21Faith Adeline
I liked this, but was confused just a bit. I would edit it a little more and make things a bit clearer. But it was good. Overall, it's about a b+ piece lol.
Faith
21Faith AdelineI liked this, but was confused just a bit. I would edit it a little more and make things a bit clearer. But it was good. Overall, it's about a b+ piece lol.
Faith