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for Valediction to an Unfeeling Amanuensis: Collection

7/18/2009 c4 Brenda Agaro
Beautiful Poetry. Love your use of literary devices. I especially like Charlotte Spirals - amazing imagery and metaphors.
6/13/2008 c4 reluctant writer
The beginning of this is a little dizzying. I had to reread it to fully understand it. Not -such- a bad thing, but I feel maybe it could have flowed easier. The rest of the poem is smooth, though. I really like the idea behind this. The description of total interconnectedness is done well.
6/13/2008 c3 reluctant writer
I really like how this all ties together. I like how the charlotte spiral is used to explain both the one character's life and the other's feelings. Very well-done.
6/13/2008 c2 reluctant writer
The meaning is somewhat unclear to me. I think of someone who is struggling with two sides of themself, the young, careless, foolish side, and the sensitive, more mature, inward self. Sometimes the inward self will be alarmed by what the other side of the self does, hence the singing. The moral reminders of the song are always there. Sometimes they will think of a careless act they have done. The voices get louder then and this person tries hard to force the voices deep back into their subconscious.
6/13/2008 c1 reluctant writer
Interesting. Like a short character profile. I didn't realize it was about your poetry at first and I was actually briefly reminded of someone I know. Oh, the multiple meanings of poetry.
4/9/2008 c4 65Nemonus
Cluttered, and a bit constrained by the subject, which I will presume is 'love'. The word "sunscald" is great, but I'm not sure what part of speech it's supposed to be because "colorless" doesn't quite work as a noun. I dislike ending a line with "kept"...I do say that the variety of words is good. Congradulations on your publication, by the way.
4/9/2008 c3 Nemonus
Why the capitalized pronouns here?

You poems have an admirable clarity.
4/9/2008 c1 Nemonus
"sleeps on hazards" is powerful. Interesting atmosphere made by the naturalist descriptions in this one, and the rhythm was good. I do think you could get rid of the "A" in "A clumsy giant", but that's the result of a first readthrough and a second makes me think it may be fine as is. Interesing work, and hey, writing for writers about writing always guarantees some identification.
4/6/2008 c4 pangur
this one makes me smile because it feels like something to be happy about forever.
4/6/2008 c3 pangur
this poem reminds me of a book called You Remind Me of You, just the subtle sadness of it. it almost makes me tear up, for some reason. and i'm curious at to who 'Him' alludes to?
4/6/2008 c2 pangur
first of all, the collection title was very... i love it. curlew are so awkward and pretty. for some reason, this one reminds me of 'Gretel, from a sudden clearing' by Marie Howe.
4/6/2008 c1 pangur
i really love the format of this one, and my two favorite bits were the imagery of the searching hands with eyes, and then the last stanza. in my head i see some awkward, lanky giant (sort of like in Big Fish), and it's very endearing.
4/4/2008 c3 stellar explosion
I really enjoyed these first three, especially the very first. Something about that piece particularly struck me. Who knew you were great at writing poetry as well?

That said, I miss World Chicken. I miss Roman. I'm so happy for you that it's going to be published, but I miss having it so available for re-reading. Send me a message when it's finally out there for the public, and tell me how to get it, because I promise I'll be the first to buy it. A couple of weeks ago, I had my best friend read it (I think right before you took it off, actually...) and she loved it as well. We had a pretty awesome conversation about how much we love Roman and boys like him (in fiction and in real life).

Another thing, I love the name of this collection. Just thought I'd mention that.
4/3/2008 c1 13Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu
Heya there! It's me if ya remember. :) Anyway, first things first is congrats for your story gonna be published. Tbh, though, are you giving up on the Thread Breaker? Hope not. That story's an enjoyable read. Anyway, glad to see that you've started to write poems although I sucks in giving CCs in this area. But it really seems that this part is like something inspired from nature. Correct me on that if I'm wrong. Anyway, good work here. At least I won't dare to try writing poems... :S And yeah, hope to see your reviews for my stories soon. I think you've stopped somewhere in Circles of Arven and I'm right now starting a new chapter of Elven Chronicles. ;)

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