for Sunspot Grammar In The Outside House4/29/2008 c1 
22Porter Daryl
Once again, I read it literally drooling at the mouth over the lush imagery. This is some of the most amazing writing I've ever had the pleasure to come across anywhere. "etch-a-sketch with the particles," breathless.
22Porter DarylOnce again, I read it literally drooling at the mouth over the lush imagery. This is some of the most amazing writing I've ever had the pleasure to come across anywhere. "etch-a-sketch with the particles," breathless.
4/3/2008 c1 crazy dog events
it's very ambitious, and I can tell you've got a great vocabulary ad a flare for metaphor, but it seems cluttered. It could do with some cutting down, i think. Don't get me wrong, though, I think it has a lot of promise.
it's very ambitious, and I can tell you've got a great vocabulary ad a flare for metaphor, but it seems cluttered. It could do with some cutting down, i think. Don't get me wrong, though, I think it has a lot of promise.
4/3/2008 c1 89Shadows in the Fire
Whoa, the language of this! It's brilliant and it makes for breathtaking imagery.
Wow. Flawless, Perfect Sonnet.
-Shadow
89Shadows in the FireWhoa, the language of this! It's brilliant and it makes for breathtaking imagery.
Wow. Flawless, Perfect Sonnet.
-Shadow
4/3/2008 c1 13evm
So, I'm kind of in love with your poem. It's beautiful and surreal, and I love the rhythm of it when I read it out loud. I think it perfectly emulates the feeling of being outside in the summer, and my favorite stanza was definitely the second to last one. Gorgeous poem.
13evmSo, I'm kind of in love with your poem. It's beautiful and surreal, and I love the rhythm of it when I read it out loud. I think it perfectly emulates the feeling of being outside in the summer, and my favorite stanza was definitely the second to last one. Gorgeous poem.
4/3/2008 c1 36SEMMU
Very beautiful imagery. I actually enjoy doing nothing while the outside world is hidden by tall grass. Your poem (I'm not sure why) reminds me of Walt Whitman. Excellent choice of words.
You're right; the unescapable traces of man always pops-up to destroy that few minutes of peace. I can't wait for the rain to stop.
You'll find no critique this time. Just a good old pat on the back. Write on!
36SEMMUVery beautiful imagery. I actually enjoy doing nothing while the outside world is hidden by tall grass. Your poem (I'm not sure why) reminds me of Walt Whitman. Excellent choice of words.
You're right; the unescapable traces of man always pops-up to destroy that few minutes of peace. I can't wait for the rain to stop.
You'll find no critique this time. Just a good old pat on the back. Write on!