for The Knights Treasure4/19/2008 c1 
103Jesse the Storyteller
I like the last two lines - they aren't what you would expect.
I also like the imagery of "inscribed on his sheath and skin" and also "uniquely feathered details".
I don't really understand, though, since you said this is describing a tatoo... how it's a prize? "A Knight concealing a prize of power".
-Jesse
Attack of the review marathon! (See link in profile)
103Jesse the StorytellerI like the last two lines - they aren't what you would expect.
I also like the imagery of "inscribed on his sheath and skin" and also "uniquely feathered details".
I don't really understand, though, since you said this is describing a tatoo... how it's a prize? "A Knight concealing a prize of power".
-Jesse
Attack of the review marathon! (See link in profile)
4/9/2008 c1 65Nemonus
I like this for "Marking everything the Knight is not", which gives him a depth of character unseen elsewhere in the descriptions which glow with praise. The rhymth's a little stiff but only practice assuages that. The character sounds interesting from the little I've gotten here.
65NemonusI like this for "Marking everything the Knight is not", which gives him a depth of character unseen elsewhere in the descriptions which glow with praise. The rhymth's a little stiff but only practice assuages that. The character sounds interesting from the little I've gotten here.