10/16/2012 c1 chhh
loove et

4/19/2008 c1 103Jesse the Storyteller
This is a cute little poem. At first I was slightly annoyed by the overuse of the words "blue" and "raindrops" but then I noticed that it adds something to the poem. This line is problematic: "As his saw the fairytale light" Do you mean he?

I wish there was more clarity as to what is actually going on in this poem... it seems like a sweet fairytale and I wish I could know more about it. :)

-Jesse

Beware the Review Marathon! (Link in profile)

4/8/2008 c1 59Tranquil Thorns
My only problem here is that you seemed to switch tenses almost without warning. It goes from 'he steps' from 'he stepped', something that managed to throw me off a little.

I like the ending, too, though it seems a little improbable even by 'fairytale' standards. I almost wanted some kind of conflict; I wanted a trace of the human-boy's amazement, some type of reaction to finding a fairy.

Keep writing!