4/13/2008 c2 cyanidecandy
oo sounds like a great start ! :D

KEP UPDATINGG.

4/13/2008 c2 8duckliy543
hm i like it so far.

what a jerk,

4/13/2008 c2 2Mademoiselle Rouge
Hmm...I wonder who's the person calling Archie... :) :)

4/9/2008 c1 misery sister
[The crescendo of cracking bones was the only sound that filled the small apartment as Isobell Fraber manoeuvred herself out of bed. The warm rays of the New York sunrise having awoken her.]

1... as Isobell Fraber MANEUVERED herself out of bed. The warm rays of New York sunrise woke her up.

[Shuffling, she made her way over to her shower hoping it would help to wake her fully.]

1... way over to the shower, hoping it would help wake her fully.

[Thirty minuets later with a cup of tea in hand Isobell was striding her way along the pavements of New York to her job.]

1. Thirty minutes later, with a cup of tea in hand, Isobell was striding...

You have a big problems with missing out on your commas.

[She preferred to walk the 4 miles to work to see it.]

All numbers from 1 - 100 should be spelled out. So, this 4 should be four.

[As usual the city never failed to impress.]

1. As usual, the city never failed to impress.

COMMAS!

[Grinning for a second, Archie once again thanked God for his fame a fortune, before it turned into a scowl.]

1. ... fame AND fortune...

The second half had a better time with commas, but rememebr them at all times.

4/9/2008 c1 5littlemissvampire21
i definitely like it!