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for I'm not used to this

2/20/2009 c1 138lael1bologna
Wow, good poem!
4/11/2008 c1 13Shasta Valentine
i really like this poem.

and you have AWESOME taste in music.

now for the poem,

you did a very good job rhyming it,

but i do wish you didn't force it on a few lines.


this was an excellent piece again,

and totally could have been a spill canvas song.

yeah, look them up.

4/11/2008 c1 socks-lost
I liked it. the ryming was cool and you really got the idea across. i liked the last line the best. keep it up.
4/9/2008 c1 15Lorki
This makes me think of my complete inability to shut up sometimes. I'm super opinionated and i get into debates all the time. I can relate to this great and I love the way it reads. good job
4/9/2008 c1 7sourgummyworms2007
i don't understand ur poem. well i dont think i do. r u just fallin in love? thats what i think. and then ur heart got broken or somethin? its very interestin though.
4/9/2008 c1 115Random-Idiocity
This is very good, I love your choice of words and the imagery. Keep it Up!
4/9/2008 c1 59Tranquil Thorns
Nice work here!

I especially like the phrase 'My words trip on my teeth'. I can just imagine words as living things, stumbling on teeth with their frenzy to escape the mouth.

The only thing I would change would be in the line 'it’s pumping and thrown off of pace'. I prefer it just as 'off pace'; the 'off of' hindered my reading the slightest.

Just an idea. (:

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