for The Velveteen Seraphim9/26/2008 c1 Isca
First of all, the title of this poem is amazing :).
I loved the seraphim imagery!
Great allusion to Jason and the Golden Fleece! :)
"So, the lion fell in love with the lamb." BRILLIANT!
"Though, all that I am is a handful os ashes." Beautiful and sorrowful at the same time.
I absolutely loved it; it flowed & rhymed so well!
~Isca
First of all, the title of this poem is amazing :).
I loved the seraphim imagery!
Great allusion to Jason and the Golden Fleece! :)
"So, the lion fell in love with the lamb." BRILLIANT!
"Though, all that I am is a handful os ashes." Beautiful and sorrowful at the same time.
I absolutely loved it; it flowed & rhymed so well!
~Isca
7/31/2008 c1 
24smilingsoprano
Beautiful. I think this poem really captures the sweet fragility I know I've felt before . . .
"flights of fancy steal my soul
take these fragments, make me whole . . ."
Gorgeous. I love those lines. I know my soul belongs to my dreams and imagination.
Anyway, if I were to make one less-that-good comment, it's that your meter is sometimes a little bit shaky. It breaks up the flow of the poem somewhat distractingly. "of spider's thread hold whispered dreams" is a beautiful line, but it has too few syllables to fit perfectly.
Otherwise, wonderful poem! Keep writing.
24smilingsopranoBeautiful. I think this poem really captures the sweet fragility I know I've felt before . . .
"flights of fancy steal my soul
take these fragments, make me whole . . ."
Gorgeous. I love those lines. I know my soul belongs to my dreams and imagination.
Anyway, if I were to make one less-that-good comment, it's that your meter is sometimes a little bit shaky. It breaks up the flow of the poem somewhat distractingly. "of spider's thread hold whispered dreams" is a beautiful line, but it has too few syllables to fit perfectly.
Otherwise, wonderful poem! Keep writing.
4/20/2008 c1 31Suicidal Romance
That was so lovely! Your use of figurative language is just amazing! I most certainly will be keeping up with your works (:
31Suicidal RomanceThat was so lovely! Your use of figurative language is just amazing! I most certainly will be keeping up with your works (:
4/11/2008 c1 17Azena Kira
I really liked it. Thought it was very very good. My favorite line was "Take my hand and guide me through..." You know, it seems like everyone can relate to it.
Only line I might change is "...Silence is golden, jason's fleece is a word..." Personally I found it a little of a stretch, but other than that, nice job and great poem.
Keep writing. =]
17Azena KiraI really liked it. Thought it was very very good. My favorite line was "Take my hand and guide me through..." You know, it seems like everyone can relate to it.
Only line I might change is "...Silence is golden, jason's fleece is a word..." Personally I found it a little of a stretch, but other than that, nice job and great poem.
Keep writing. =]