for FreeFlying Feather4/22/2008 c1 
612simpleplan13
I like the transition a lot. From wishing to be it and then not. The metaphor of the feather was also really well done and the descriptions were nice as well. Really nicely done.
612simpleplan13I like the transition a lot. From wishing to be it and then not. The metaphor of the feather was also really well done and the descriptions were nice as well. Really nicely done.
4/14/2008 c1 6xEmoMuffinx
I wonder what happened to your anti-freeverse side.
Not much to comment about, except that the line "That I am not that" is a bit awkward...what with ending with "that"...it just seemed a bit awkward and detached. It even starts with "that" already.
I'm not quite sure how your rhythm went, but when I read through it, my interpreted rhythm was a big jerky? I don't know.
Hey, at least your FP is alive. Mine's...
Dead. *pokes it*
6xEmoMuffinxI wonder what happened to your anti-freeverse side.
Not much to comment about, except that the line "That I am not that" is a bit awkward...what with ending with "that"...it just seemed a bit awkward and detached. It even starts with "that" already.
I'm not quite sure how your rhythm went, but when I read through it, my interpreted rhythm was a big jerky? I don't know.
Hey, at least your FP is alive. Mine's...
Dead. *pokes it*