for Trust5/24/2008 c1 
2Teffie
This is a really interesting concept, and well-executed too! Some parts were vague and a little confusing, like the "whelping pool." I wasn't exactly sure what that was. Also, what kind of being exactly were Toby and Calc? You probably wanted to keep the story short, so I suppose adding a ton of descriptions of that kind of thing would have been too much. I think you could totally expand this into a multi-chapter story. You have an interesting culture here, and I'd like to see it developed. Good job.
2TeffieThis is a really interesting concept, and well-executed too! Some parts were vague and a little confusing, like the "whelping pool." I wasn't exactly sure what that was. Also, what kind of being exactly were Toby and Calc? You probably wanted to keep the story short, so I suppose adding a ton of descriptions of that kind of thing would have been too much. I think you could totally expand this into a multi-chapter story. You have an interesting culture here, and I'd like to see it developed. Good job.