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for The Black Wire Engine

12/12/2010 c1 This Account is Inactive
Wow, that's REALLY good! I love the story line, and you're VERY good with decriptions!
5/14/2008 c1 JaveHarron
Awesome story. The transformation of the engine was very well written and interesting. Keep up the good work, since we need more steampunk.
5/5/2008 c1 10Crownbreaker
Very well done. The story was well written and has a cool premise. Sort of a combination of steampunk and bizarro fiction. It had an interesting twist in how the Coals are treated. It seems at first like they've got some horrendously grotesque and hellish fate awaiting them (and maybe they do), but the engine doesn't turn out to be a conventional soul sucking torture device.

A few grammatical nitpicks to point out:

"Can’t have that, can we," should have a ? at the end. So should "Isn’t that ironic," the next paragraph down

There weren't any others that jumped out at me.
4/25/2008 c1 June
That was great i would love to read more.
4/17/2008 c1 2Kyra Reinhilde
Woah. that was amazing. Seriously amazing. I can't even think of any crit, it was just...amazing. My hat's off to you. I couldn't write a half decent short story if i tried. Have you submit this anywhere? It's...okay, i'm repeating myself, but i really think you should. The atmosphere and mood were perfect; i could hear the engine in the back of my head. The huryin was also very well done.

I would be honored if you would check out a forum for writers a friend of mine made. We'd love some more company. there's Rp too, if you're into that... aggressiveink. proboards55. com, without the spaces should work. I kind of feel bad plugging it here, but i really woudl be overjoyed if you joined.
4/17/2008 c1 A reader
This was a fantastic piece of writing. The gritty realism and hopelessness at the beginning contrasted marvellously with the almost ethereal qualities of the city and the engine. Well, the desciption of the engine was in a class of its own. I also really liked the character of the creature, the way in which he constantly manipulated the girl throughout the story and the revelation that he had once been just like her was just brilliant. The girl's naievty was done very well indeed.

You have every right to be very proud of this story.

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