for First Touch8/21/2010 c1 
4Mrs Dalloway's flowers
Yup, this is definitely hot.
You've captured everything really well- I also like your succinct style; you just kind of get right down to everything. That's really great, especially in little one-shots like this. Well done indeed!
4Mrs Dalloway's flowersYup, this is definitely hot.
You've captured everything really well- I also like your succinct style; you just kind of get right down to everything. That's really great, especially in little one-shots like this. Well done indeed!
8/25/2008 c1 22emmaliefje
Woah. Heated. Could've used a bit more background info, because the first line made it seem like they'd just started going out, or hadn't even kissed, and some feelings beside lust (the obvious one :P) would've been nice, but besides that, well done!
22emmaliefjeWoah. Heated. Could've used a bit more background info, because the first line made it seem like they'd just started going out, or hadn't even kissed, and some feelings beside lust (the obvious one :P) would've been nice, but besides that, well done!
4/24/2008 c1 11beaumont santana
I really liked this story, it felt real to me-even though everyone's first time is different I think you really captured the FEELINGS that go along with the physical sensations that you're trying to figure out during an experience like this. I liked your writing style, too. Kudos
11beaumont santanaI really liked this story, it felt real to me-even though everyone's first time is different I think you really captured the FEELINGS that go along with the physical sensations that you're trying to figure out during an experience like this. I liked your writing style, too. Kudos
4/23/2008 c1 pyroangel28
first off...nice profile...good message to the masses and such...yes i read it =)...
Second...the story was quite nice...ur style is pretty cool...continue on...would love to see new stuff from u =)
first off...nice profile...good message to the masses and such...yes i read it =)...
Second...the story was quite nice...ur style is pretty cool...continue on...would love to see new stuff from u =)
4/23/2008 c1 12MBaxter
Very nice! Had a very good flow to it and hardly any mistakes grammar/spelling wise. Great job!
Baxter
12MBaxterVery nice! Had a very good flow to it and hardly any mistakes grammar/spelling wise. Great job!
Baxter
4/23/2008 c1 9Vilstrup
Okay, this is something competely knew to me.
You write a story about how it is for two girls to have sex for the first time. You write it very well, and you describe it damn well too.
No grammatical errors that I can detect, and your format is very readable.
Though it's a good story, it's not really my cup of tea.
Don't get me wrong, you write great, but it's just not my taste.
You can't do anything about it, if you want to write a story, I don't like. That's just a flaw in my personality.
But, yet again, good work, and keep it up ;P
9VilstrupOkay, this is something competely knew to me.
You write a story about how it is for two girls to have sex for the first time. You write it very well, and you describe it damn well too.
No grammatical errors that I can detect, and your format is very readable.
Though it's a good story, it's not really my cup of tea.
Don't get me wrong, you write great, but it's just not my taste.
You can't do anything about it, if you want to write a story, I don't like. That's just a flaw in my personality.
But, yet again, good work, and keep it up ;P