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4/29/2008 c5 pinkeclipse
he saved her! he's protective of her! Love it! thanks for updating!
4/28/2008 c4 Lyra Waterflame
Cool Fic... please write more, Please?
4/28/2008 c4 989East-0f-Eden
nice charter development!
4/28/2008 c4 21Faith Adeline
I liked going into his past. Good job. Keep it up and update soon :)

Faith
4/27/2008 c1 pinkeclipse
LOVE IT! the plot is great! please continue the story!
4/27/2008 c2 pinkeclipse
so picky! lol he is right though... keep writing!
4/27/2008 c3 Faith Adeline
good chapter, I liked it. You don't need thoughts in "" though, just to let you know. keep it up and update soon!

Faith
4/27/2008 c3 pinkeclipse
so they are about to meet? thanks for the chapter!
4/27/2008 c3 If looks could kill
they were this close (makes gesture with fingers)...damn...haha update soon!
4/27/2008 c3 989East-0f-Eden
:)
4/27/2008 c2 serendipity90
oh! it just keeps getting more and more interesting please update soon!
4/27/2008 c2 2pinkdottedlily
oh sounds good...can't wait to read more! Update soon!
4/27/2008 c1 8C. D. Louise
I think you have something here. You may need to develop it a bit more. It seems an interesting plot but not unlike a lot of other stories you have written. I'll keep checking in. Try not to be so repetative with your sentences, and if you will describe something do not do it unnecessarily, just to add words. Readers are smart, and they pick up implications. Try making the dialogue more diverse as well. Have different characters say things in different ways. I hope you found this helpful. I always dislike criticism that is not helpful.
4/27/2008 c2 989East-0f-Eden
wonderful can't wait to see how you develop it! :)
4/26/2008 c2 tobslytobby
i think this is one of your best stories. really unique and interesting so far. can't wait for the next update.
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