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for Fire Mirror

9/3/2008 c6 6Runningflame
Normally, I'd just send you a PM, but I hate to see a story with so few reviews! 0_0 So here goes:

I can see why it was easier for you to write the second half of ch. 6. X^D I've had the exact same experience. I think there's a distinction between things that are fun to write and things that have to be written. ~_~ At any rate, as you probably know, the ending was awesome. Good mixture of action and mystery... I have a feeling we might find out more about the meaning of the title soon, no? ^_^

It wasn't really clear to me, though, what form Saruma was in when Caelum brought her back. It said "fur", so I guessed she must not be a bird (though how Caelum carried her all that way if she wasn't is another mystery), but there's still some confusion in my mind as to whether she was still a cat or a wolf. You'll want to make that explicit.

I'll read it again within a day or two and PM you the picky details. :^D

7/4/2008 c1 2Wolfcry-Sama
I love this story too. [“Hello, my name is Saruma. I'm sorry, but I am not available at this time. Please try again later, or if you'd like to leave a message...”] That cracked me up. -goes off to read more chapters-
6/23/2008 c3 6Runningflame
I'm not sure why I haven't reviewed this story yet, but great job! I think chapter 3 was the best yet. I loved the depth of information the wolves' howling carried-it surprised me at first, but it really made sense once I thought about it. ^_^ And the discussion about "horse slavery" was great. :^D I'm not sure whether I'd rather see more of this or of Gryphon's Gate, but do whichever one you feel like, I guess. ;^)

Now I'll PM you with the grammatical mistakes I found. X^D

4/30/2008 c1 17Kinna
I've always had a soft spot for wolves, so I couldn't resist clicking on your story.

It's an interesting idea, the plot, and I liked how the spirits appeared in wolf form. I suppose they appear in the same form as whoever is calling them.

I loved Song's thoughts, and if not for your note at the end I would have assumed he was the main character. Hopefully he'll stick around for a while. :)

Now for some critiques…

In these sentences, “though the wind may fan out small fires, it only feeds the large ones. The recent storms haven't at all been helpful. What we need is rain...”

If they had recent (rain?) storms, wouldn’t it be helpful? The lack of recent storms makes more sense.

For this sentence, “Jumping up onto it, he lied down and closed his eyes,” I don’t think lied is the right word. I’ve always been really bad at the lay or lie thing. But there are these choices…

Lie means to recline or be placed, while lay means to place something down. But the past tense of lie is lay, so… “Jumping up onto it, he lay down and closed his eyes.” Hmm, I’m still not sure.

For these sentences, “It's a great disaster! It's killed countless... things!” Nothing is wrong with it grammatically, but I think that the add on of the word things at the end diminishes the importance of what Song is trying to say. When he says it’s killed countless, it’s assumed that living creatures are dying, so I don’t think he needs to try and clarify it.

And these sentences….“Hello, my name is Saruma. I'm sorry, but I am not available at this time. Please try again later, or if you'd like to leave a message...”

Haha it took me totally off guard and I was as surprised as Song. I think this was my favorite part of the whole chapter.

Anyways, I’m curious to see where you will decide to go with this.

I’ll keep an eye out for your next update.

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