for Age5/6/2008 c1 
23suckerplucker
Ah, what a tried and true theme-you handle it pretty well, though there are a few spots you lose me:
What exactly is the link between tears and lust in the first line? is it that one leads to the other? that one grows less lusty as one ages? i'm not sure why lust is included here.
how does age remind us of mortality? it IS mortality.
overall nice and apocalyptic-you should read john donne, i think you'd like him. you're not doing anything terribly novel with this theme as old as age itself, but you get through the poem without getting mired in too many plattitudes.
good luck
zac
23suckerpluckerAh, what a tried and true theme-you handle it pretty well, though there are a few spots you lose me:
What exactly is the link between tears and lust in the first line? is it that one leads to the other? that one grows less lusty as one ages? i'm not sure why lust is included here.
how does age remind us of mortality? it IS mortality.
overall nice and apocalyptic-you should read john donne, i think you'd like him. you're not doing anything terribly novel with this theme as old as age itself, but you get through the poem without getting mired in too many plattitudes.
good luck
zac
5/5/2008 c1 106Lone Lily in the Garden
I love it! I know the heavy burden of age, I'm only nine years from being practically halfway through my life. Great poem keep it up!
106Lone Lily in the GardenI love it! I know the heavy burden of age, I'm only nine years from being practically halfway through my life. Great poem keep it up!