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for Poems about life

10/3/2008 c1 4Vampyre of the Varg
I like the ideas that you have, I would suggest being a bit more careful with your word choice, sometimes a word disturbed the flow like "teenager" or "visage" also, i'd think about using punctuation... i'm not saying this from a grammatical aspect, but the simple use of a period, comma, or hyphen can really make a poem. Oh and, I think you forgot a word in "Leaving you marveling at the its beautiful simplicity".

Keep up the good work^^
10/3/2008 c2 4Mrs Dalloway's flowers

I liked the repetition, made it seem almost like a song. nice work.
5/13/2008 c1 Mrs Dalloway's flowers
hey there i think the last one was really good, "the music." and "the mirror" was a tad on the emo side, but then what poetry isn't? haha. the only suggestion i would make is a small one, and that is to replace the word "teenager" in "the mirror," maybe with one like "girl" or "young girl." it just seems to detract from the poem a bit. other then that, not too shabby! smells like teen spirit!

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