for Goodbye Nebraska5/10/2008 c1 
21Faith Adeline
I like this, it has potential. Just make sure to make it original and your own piece of work. Cause as another reviewer said, it is a bit like Anita Blake, Laurell's Series. Other than that, it's good. Oh, just work on the fludity of your sentences. Some are choppy and tend to run on and on. Work on that. Keep it up and update soon.
Faith
21Faith AdelineI like this, it has potential. Just make sure to make it original and your own piece of work. Cause as another reviewer said, it is a bit like Anita Blake, Laurell's Series. Other than that, it's good. Oh, just work on the fludity of your sentences. Some are choppy and tend to run on and on. Work on that. Keep it up and update soon.
Faith
5/10/2008 c1 4Alex Price
I like it! There's just so much crap that it's hard to find a good story around here. It's even harder to find someone who's even heard of Hemingford, Nebraska. I've been near there, not much to see. I think it's cool that somebody else uses very small nebraska towns or nebraska ghost towns at least in some part of their story. My inlaws are in Scottsbluff and I live down near the kansas border, north of Oberlin.
Anywho, your story reminds me of my fav character Anita Blake from Laurell K. Hamilton. But she's different, in a different town, with different family. I can't wait for more.
4Alex PriceI like it! There's just so much crap that it's hard to find a good story around here. It's even harder to find someone who's even heard of Hemingford, Nebraska. I've been near there, not much to see. I think it's cool that somebody else uses very small nebraska towns or nebraska ghost towns at least in some part of their story. My inlaws are in Scottsbluff and I live down near the kansas border, north of Oberlin.
Anywho, your story reminds me of my fav character Anita Blake from Laurell K. Hamilton. But she's different, in a different town, with different family. I can't wait for more.
5/9/2008 c1 perfectsquares
your dialogue is good, but when you start going into depth and character thoughts, your sentences get a bit long and confusing. other than that, i love the story and the way you write. keep it up! and for what it's worth, indianapolis isn't THAT bad ;]
your dialogue is good, but when you start going into depth and character thoughts, your sentences get a bit long and confusing. other than that, i love the story and the way you write. keep it up! and for what it's worth, indianapolis isn't THAT bad ;]