for Forgotten Paradise1/30/2016 c67 Bahati
I hate her dad, he has no right to look hurt. After everything he did,he thinks he was trying to protect her? fuck him. And it's worse that he bought his love child and mistress (I totally discredit this phony marriege) to his wife's house after he cheated,he's disgusting
I hate her dad, he has no right to look hurt. After everything he did,he thinks he was trying to protect her? fuck him. And it's worse that he bought his love child and mistress (I totally discredit this phony marriege) to his wife's house after he cheated,he's disgusting
8/28/2011 c74 Shania
Really...this is the ending...I really liked it but, just friends they should have gone to the same college and ughhh, but other than that I really liked your story :)
Really...this is the ending...I really liked it but, just friends they should have gone to the same college and ughhh, but other than that I really liked your story :)
2/20/2011 c28 Minzy
The story's been okay so far, it's just that there are a lot of wrong choices of verbs. For example, her father and Wanda are generally posed as uncaring towards Caitlin, but they use a lot of "positive" verbs when speaking to her (i.e. humourously, teasing, etc.) It's confusing. And malice and malicious are negatively associated words, which you are using for Caitlin's friends. For instance, I remember a few times that Hailey says stuff "with malice," and I really don't think Hailey has any harmful intentions toward Caitlin. But these verbs can be edited easily! :)
Oh and also another issue that I remember from the beginning of the first chapter - Wanda is not specified as her stepmother (unless I missed reading that part). This happens a lot in the other chapters and your Twisted Jealousy story as well. Pronouns such as "she" are used immediately without first stating the name of the character. But this too can be fixed easily ;)
Looking forward to reading more from you!
The story's been okay so far, it's just that there are a lot of wrong choices of verbs. For example, her father and Wanda are generally posed as uncaring towards Caitlin, but they use a lot of "positive" verbs when speaking to her (i.e. humourously, teasing, etc.) It's confusing. And malice and malicious are negatively associated words, which you are using for Caitlin's friends. For instance, I remember a few times that Hailey says stuff "with malice," and I really don't think Hailey has any harmful intentions toward Caitlin. But these verbs can be edited easily! :)
Oh and also another issue that I remember from the beginning of the first chapter - Wanda is not specified as her stepmother (unless I missed reading that part). This happens a lot in the other chapters and your Twisted Jealousy story as well. Pronouns such as "she" are used immediately without first stating the name of the character. But this too can be fixed easily ;)
Looking forward to reading more from you!
5/30/2010 c74 
1ilovetheoldu
I just have one wort for this story.
"Amazing"
That's all well i do have to say, i read this in my summer vacation in 4 days ( very long nights i might add) and i just fell in love. I have to say my favorite character was 'Allan' i don't know why but i just like him a lot.
Well that's i had to say.
ByeBye
-Chispi.
1ilovetheolduI just have one wort for this story.
"Amazing"
That's all well i do have to say, i read this in my summer vacation in 4 days ( very long nights i might add) and i just fell in love. I have to say my favorite character was 'Allan' i don't know why but i just like him a lot.
Well that's i had to say.
ByeBye
-Chispi.
3/3/2010 c35 belle
Just wanted to say loving the story..especially aden's eyes haha..but one thing that kept getting me confused was when you'd use the word malicious to describe how hailey would say things..only because when you think malice you don't think of friendship and from what i could tell hailey and cait were good friends..just thought i'd suggest maybe a different word. like mischievous..unless you intended it to be taken the way i've taken it..in which case forget what i just said. love the story can't wait to get to the end!
Just wanted to say loving the story..especially aden's eyes haha..but one thing that kept getting me confused was when you'd use the word malicious to describe how hailey would say things..only because when you think malice you don't think of friendship and from what i could tell hailey and cait were good friends..just thought i'd suggest maybe a different word. like mischievous..unless you intended it to be taken the way i've taken it..in which case forget what i just said. love the story can't wait to get to the end!
12/4/2009 c37 Leah
Good, but please use some adjectives that aren't "malicious"!
Good, but please use some adjectives that aren't "malicious"!
11/30/2009 c74 Laura
I loved the story and im glad your epilogue told us about all the characters not just the Caitlin and Aden. I was hoping for them to saty together but I still love the ending :)
I loved the story and im glad your epilogue told us about all the characters not just the Caitlin and Aden. I was hoping for them to saty together but I still love the ending :)
11/22/2009 c73 37AlreadyGone
As usual, I liked it. Sure, it's not the perfect ending I could've hoped for but it was still good. I'm glad that I've read your story and it's really good.
You are AMAZING!
37AlreadyGoneAs usual, I liked it. Sure, it's not the perfect ending I could've hoped for but it was still good. I'm glad that I've read your story and it's really good.
You are AMAZING!