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for Regret Of A Corpse

5/25/2008 c1 6Hed in the Cloudz
Wow, that's some gruesome imagery! I love the fact that the protagonist is conversing with a severed head- and what a good job you do describing the head! I've been in the horror section all day, and this is the first story I've read that's made me want to puke. Good job! The tears especially stand out in my mental picture- you describe the whole scene incredibly well, though!

I don't quite get the POV, unfortunately. If the person is not involved in the actual plot, then it shouldn't be first person- it would work just as well in second (so you have an excuse not to give background) or third (so we have some idea what's happening.)

Other than that, though, this is great!

-Yna, from the Review Marathon (see the link in my profile!)
5/18/2008 c1 11Distilledfx
Cool story. I love the description. I really try hard for that in my own work and it seems so effortless an powerful here. Nice work. Also just from your first line I got a great idea for a story of my own. Thanks for writing this. The in your face gore and surrealism is completely overthrown by the psychological horror and emotion. I love that. If you want to read something similar, I have a story called "Final Goodbye". Nice work and nice writing... I could read stuff like this all day.
5/17/2008 c1 21Faith Adeline
very good, I liked it. The emotion is good, strong. Keep it up :)


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