for When Normalcy is Out of Your Reach3/30/2009 c7 Michael Angelo Lemen
jessica ang gul0 ha.. :D parang ragnarok na blade na harry potter na dota ang dating n2. tssk tssk.
jessica ang gul0 ha.. :D parang ragnarok na blade na harry potter na dota ang dating n2. tssk tssk.
3/30/2009 c6 Michael Angelo Lemen
hehe.. :D gus2 q lahat cla mmtay.. hekek.. :D wla kong maisip para icriticize to e.. kc e2 lng pinagkakalibangan q sa trabh0.. ;D hahahaha
hehe.. :D gus2 q lahat cla mmtay.. hekek.. :D wla kong maisip para icriticize to e.. kc e2 lng pinagkakalibangan q sa trabh0.. ;D hahahaha
3/30/2009 c5 Michael Angelo Lemen
Succubus, Incubus, Deviruchis, haha.. what ever.. :D
per0 mgnda st0rya.. tssk tssk.. kung ano ano na tumatakbo sa isip mO ha.. dati pur0 hayskul romance ngaun nmn mga out-of-this-world creatures na.. :D
haha
Succubus, Incubus, Deviruchis, haha.. what ever.. :D
per0 mgnda st0rya.. tssk tssk.. kung ano ano na tumatakbo sa isip mO ha.. dati pur0 hayskul romance ngaun nmn mga out-of-this-world creatures na.. :D
haha
3/30/2009 c4 Michael Angelo Lemen
nakapagtataka.. sa n0tebuk mo wlang "(Nervous laugh) it’s just a short one. Hehehe. Anyway, thanks again for the people who reviewed.
I’m not really that satisfied with this chapter, since I had a little trouble putting to words how Roxy felt, and stuff… Anyway, I’ll try to get the next chapter out as fast as I can! (smile)
Thanks for reading!"
sa br0wser mer0n? ung huli q plang bnbsa.. d ko natap0s.. pap0st aman.. :D
nakapagtataka.. sa n0tebuk mo wlang "(Nervous laugh) it’s just a short one. Hehehe. Anyway, thanks again for the people who reviewed.
I’m not really that satisfied with this chapter, since I had a little trouble putting to words how Roxy felt, and stuff… Anyway, I’ll try to get the next chapter out as fast as I can! (smile)
Thanks for reading!"
sa br0wser mer0n? ung huli q plang bnbsa.. d ko natap0s.. pap0st aman.. :D
3/30/2009 c3 Michael Angelo Lemen
haha.. wla lng.. hanggang ilang chapeter to nubla? ha? hehe..
haha.. wla lng.. hanggang ilang chapeter to nubla? ha? hehe..
3/16/2009 c11 
2kirstenb.0319
Wow, this story is really good. I love it so far and the characters are interesting because they're so complex.
One gramatical thing though: every time you say egotistical, you say egoistic or something along those lines. I just wanted to let you know there's a t in there. Other than that, it's awesome so far. Please update soon.
2kirstenb.0319Wow, this story is really good. I love it so far and the characters are interesting because they're so complex.
One gramatical thing though: every time you say egotistical, you say egoistic or something along those lines. I just wanted to let you know there's a t in there. Other than that, it's awesome so far. Please update soon.
9/18/2008 c9 9Vilstrup
hmm, when did I forget about that part, hm.
Well, can't think about everything, and at least we know Maxy is in good hands now :D
So, as I said, I hadn't thought about how Jenny and Ashton would react to Roxy's dissappearing, though this is a very realistic replay on that subject, and besides, we get to see how Maxy is returned. Thought well through.
However, I've noticed one thing in your writing style, and that is the "compus" I think it's called.
An example is where you write that "Ashton looked even worse" but later you write "and it looks like". If I'm not totally mistaken, you should have written "looked" instead of "looks" and you do this a few times, spread across the whole chapter.
You might wanna read it through again ;)
But still, I look forward to the next chapter, and good luck with school.
Keep up the good work ;P
Vilstrup
9Vilstruphmm, when did I forget about that part, hm.
Well, can't think about everything, and at least we know Maxy is in good hands now :D
So, as I said, I hadn't thought about how Jenny and Ashton would react to Roxy's dissappearing, though this is a very realistic replay on that subject, and besides, we get to see how Maxy is returned. Thought well through.
However, I've noticed one thing in your writing style, and that is the "compus" I think it's called.
An example is where you write that "Ashton looked even worse" but later you write "and it looks like". If I'm not totally mistaken, you should have written "looked" instead of "looks" and you do this a few times, spread across the whole chapter.
You might wanna read it through again ;)
But still, I look forward to the next chapter, and good luck with school.
Keep up the good work ;P
Vilstrup
9/14/2008 c8 Vilstrup
... what?, oh sorry about that, lost my mind at the end of the chapter.
hmm, a lot of tears.. a wonder the house didn't float away.
Sad, very sad, and yet... nah nothing.
Okay back to topic here (get a grip, man).
Good things, hmm let's see:
The story is well written again, and this time, it's a VERY long chapter. Well done there.
The story progress great, and now that Maxy is out of the world for now, it's gonna be interesting to see what happens next.
Now Roxy can look to what she has promised, though poor Lloyed. He's gonna have a hard time ahead of him. On the other hand, something interesting is comming for them both, and it ain't just a fight.
And suddenly we see a new part of the Lord. So he does have some human feelings after all, though I wonder who, of the Valmont Clan, died recently. Gonna be interesting to hear, though I can guess it was someone close to Lloyed.
Another thing is Seth. Interesting loopholes he made, hehehe, good thing he's not my lawyer.
Okay, now, the bad things, or things need working on:
You'll need to check that chapter through again. There are minor mistakes, spread across the whole page.
And then there's Atkin. Why does his death not bring sorrow to the Valmont Clan, but instead laugther to Alaric? That part I don't really get,?
Anything else, nope. Nothing
So, well done once again, and by the way.
Congratulation on your school grades.
Keep up the good work ;p
Vilstrup
... what?, oh sorry about that, lost my mind at the end of the chapter.
hmm, a lot of tears.. a wonder the house didn't float away.
Sad, very sad, and yet... nah nothing.
Okay back to topic here (get a grip, man).
Good things, hmm let's see:
The story is well written again, and this time, it's a VERY long chapter. Well done there.
The story progress great, and now that Maxy is out of the world for now, it's gonna be interesting to see what happens next.
Now Roxy can look to what she has promised, though poor Lloyed. He's gonna have a hard time ahead of him. On the other hand, something interesting is comming for them both, and it ain't just a fight.
And suddenly we see a new part of the Lord. So he does have some human feelings after all, though I wonder who, of the Valmont Clan, died recently. Gonna be interesting to hear, though I can guess it was someone close to Lloyed.
Another thing is Seth. Interesting loopholes he made, hehehe, good thing he's not my lawyer.
Okay, now, the bad things, or things need working on:
You'll need to check that chapter through again. There are minor mistakes, spread across the whole page.
And then there's Atkin. Why does his death not bring sorrow to the Valmont Clan, but instead laugther to Alaric? That part I don't really get,?
Anything else, nope. Nothing
So, well done once again, and by the way.
Congratulation on your school grades.
Keep up the good work ;p
Vilstrup
9/8/2008 c7 Vilstrup
hm, yes, yes. That makes sense.
Oh, right sorry about that, got a bit consumed by the story again.
Okay, ahemm, the story has taken a very interesting turn.
From the hills of freedom to the shackles of imprisoment, good, very good.
Okay, so I didn't see anything "wrong" as mistakes or errors, which is good, or else most people would probably have turned away by now.
The story keeps getting interesting, and so far, I haven't regret reading it.
Okay, to the bad things which needs working on.
WHEN IS THE NEXT CHAPTER COMMING?
You're keeping me on my toes. I am waiting excited on the next chapter, and I don't know when it will be up and running. It's a bit frustrated.
So, kep up the good work, and update soon please.
Vilstrup
hm, yes, yes. That makes sense.
Oh, right sorry about that, got a bit consumed by the story again.
Okay, ahemm, the story has taken a very interesting turn.
From the hills of freedom to the shackles of imprisoment, good, very good.
Okay, so I didn't see anything "wrong" as mistakes or errors, which is good, or else most people would probably have turned away by now.
The story keeps getting interesting, and so far, I haven't regret reading it.
Okay, to the bad things which needs working on.
WHEN IS THE NEXT CHAPTER COMMING?
You're keeping me on my toes. I am waiting excited on the next chapter, and I don't know when it will be up and running. It's a bit frustrated.
So, kep up the good work, and update soon please.
Vilstrup