for When Normalcy is Out of Your Reach6/10/2008 c7 angelbeth
interesting so far
what does being a pet actually involve?
more details on the real parents and how did she end up with sweepers
what exactly are sweepers
it has had some interesting twists not your normal vampire fic which is good
interesting so far
what does being a pet actually involve?
more details on the real parents and how did she end up with sweepers
what exactly are sweepers
it has had some interesting twists not your normal vampire fic which is good
6/6/2008 c6 
4Searbear
I thought this was a great chapter as it pulled things together and helped explain some stuff, like what Roxy is.
4SearbearI thought this was a great chapter as it pulled things together and helped explain some stuff, like what Roxy is.
6/2/2008 c5 9Vilstrup
Interesting, very interesting.
This defiantly explains why creatures from "the other world" dosen't interfere with the human population. You've seemed to thought this pretty through. Very good.
Though this is a long and good chapter, I seemed to notice a few errors, though now I can't even remember where in the text. Damn it!
However, I recommend you read the story through again.
Anything else, no... it's a very good chapter, and I look forward to the next one.
Keep up the good work ;P
9VilstrupInteresting, very interesting.
This defiantly explains why creatures from "the other world" dosen't interfere with the human population. You've seemed to thought this pretty through. Very good.
Though this is a long and good chapter, I seemed to notice a few errors, though now I can't even remember where in the text. Damn it!
However, I recommend you read the story through again.
Anything else, no... it's a very good chapter, and I look forward to the next one.
Keep up the good work ;P
5/31/2008 c4 1Crazy colorz
hey kool story Roxxy's a demon? what kind? cant wait till u explain it good luck on the story! XD
1Crazy colorzhey kool story Roxxy's a demon? what kind? cant wait till u explain it good luck on the story! XD
5/29/2008 c4 9Vilstrup
I didn't expect this chapter to be up so soon. You pretty much took me by surprise there.
However, this seems a bit wrong for me. I'm getting customed to see a very long chapter, with different view points. But this one, is a lot shorter than normal and only contains two view points. I really hope the next chapter to be abit longer than this one.
Still, I'd say this chapter really caught me by surprise. I though Roxy would've turned into a werewolf, or a Vampire, though I couldn't get that to match with the things, that it wasn't full moon, or that Roxy could live in daylight. A demon was something totally unespected.
And I really like that :D
I hope to see such, unespected turns in the near future.
Keep up the good work mate ;P
9VilstrupI didn't expect this chapter to be up so soon. You pretty much took me by surprise there.
However, this seems a bit wrong for me. I'm getting customed to see a very long chapter, with different view points. But this one, is a lot shorter than normal and only contains two view points. I really hope the next chapter to be abit longer than this one.
Still, I'd say this chapter really caught me by surprise. I though Roxy would've turned into a werewolf, or a Vampire, though I couldn't get that to match with the things, that it wasn't full moon, or that Roxy could live in daylight. A demon was something totally unespected.
And I really like that :D
I hope to see such, unespected turns in the near future.
Keep up the good work mate ;P
5/28/2008 c3 Vilstrup
Well, well, well, this is gonna turn out very interesting.
First of all, no grammatical errors, or anything wrong. Or at least I couldn't find anything.
Second, you write damn well. You describe well, and I really like how Roxy is as a personality. The way Jenny and Ashton make up the group around Roxy is interesting, and very realistic. They matches each other pretty good.
And the ending of this chapter let's me sit here, waiting in excitment for the next chapter.
Hopes to see it soon.
Keep up the good work ;P
Well, well, well, this is gonna turn out very interesting.
First of all, no grammatical errors, or anything wrong. Or at least I couldn't find anything.
Second, you write damn well. You describe well, and I really like how Roxy is as a personality. The way Jenny and Ashton make up the group around Roxy is interesting, and very realistic. They matches each other pretty good.
And the ending of this chapter let's me sit here, waiting in excitment for the next chapter.
Hopes to see it soon.
Keep up the good work ;P
5/21/2008 c2 Vilstrup
well, well, well
You arn't making this boring at all.
Nice writing, good descriptions, and good laughter.
I really begin to like this story, a lot.
Though there is one thing. You'll probably need to read the chapter through again, for any spelling mistakes, and/or any grammatical errors. You have a few, but they appear pretty obvious to the readers. So, read it through again.
Anything else, When will the next chapter be up?
I can't wait for the continuation of this story.
Update soon, please.
well, well, well
You arn't making this boring at all.
Nice writing, good descriptions, and good laughter.
I really begin to like this story, a lot.
Though there is one thing. You'll probably need to read the chapter through again, for any spelling mistakes, and/or any grammatical errors. You have a few, but they appear pretty obvious to the readers. So, read it through again.
Anything else, When will the next chapter be up?
I can't wait for the continuation of this story.
Update soon, please.
5/20/2008 c2 Unsociably Acceptable
hahahha! yet ANOTHER scum bag that got what was comin' to him! don't people know not to provoke her? shesh! their knack of not retaining that ONE itty bitty bit of information is astounding xP
can't wait for the part two...though putting them both up in one would've been awesomely xD
hahahha! yet ANOTHER scum bag that got what was comin' to him! don't people know not to provoke her? shesh! their knack of not retaining that ONE itty bitty bit of information is astounding xP
can't wait for the part two...though putting them both up in one would've been awesomely xD
5/18/2008 c1 Unsociably Acceptable
OH! ME LIKES ME LIKES! hahahaha jason got what he deserved the scum bag! (i'm feeling pretty vindictive today...hahaha)
OH! ME LIKES ME LIKES! hahahaha jason got what he deserved the scum bag! (i'm feeling pretty vindictive today...hahaha)
5/18/2008 c1 9Sally Can Wait
a) Watch out for cliches: the popular best friends, and the abusive father. Don't leave the abusive-father theme to carry your story. Unless there is an innovative, interesting reason for it, it's not all that interesting. And with all of the fantasy and excitement you're going to have, it's a bit overkill. I mean, the abusive-father thing alone is the inspiration for entire novels. (And lots of them.) Also make sure that your popular characters would believably have a friend that is a "freak" - possibly even if she isn't really one, and just believes herself to be.
b) Um, this might sound stalkerish, but I totally read your profile and saw that you are from the Philippines. That is pretty much the coolest thing ever. Just so you know. My grandparents lived there when my grandfather was in the army. It sounds really neat. :)
c) I am glad to see the combination your story is. Seriously: the combination of fantasy with reality makes fantasy all the better. It makes the reader get the feeling that anything can happen. :3 Your heading off to a very interesting start - but don't weigh down your stories with cliches. It has such potential, don't be afraid that something random will be boring. :)
-Sally (Hopefully this helped, I didn't mean it in a harsh way at all. I liked it. ^^)
P.S. If a vampire comes out and saves her from the car, and you have read "Twilight", then I refuse to read anymore. And I really, really want to. xD Unless you haven't read "Twilight" (you lucky dog), in which case you are excused.
9Sally Can Waita) Watch out for cliches: the popular best friends, and the abusive father. Don't leave the abusive-father theme to carry your story. Unless there is an innovative, interesting reason for it, it's not all that interesting. And with all of the fantasy and excitement you're going to have, it's a bit overkill. I mean, the abusive-father thing alone is the inspiration for entire novels. (And lots of them.) Also make sure that your popular characters would believably have a friend that is a "freak" - possibly even if she isn't really one, and just believes herself to be.
b) Um, this might sound stalkerish, but I totally read your profile and saw that you are from the Philippines. That is pretty much the coolest thing ever. Just so you know. My grandparents lived there when my grandfather was in the army. It sounds really neat. :)
c) I am glad to see the combination your story is. Seriously: the combination of fantasy with reality makes fantasy all the better. It makes the reader get the feeling that anything can happen. :3 Your heading off to a very interesting start - but don't weigh down your stories with cliches. It has such potential, don't be afraid that something random will be boring. :)
-Sally (Hopefully this helped, I didn't mean it in a harsh way at all. I liked it. ^^)
P.S. If a vampire comes out and saves her from the car, and you have read "Twilight", then I refuse to read anymore. And I really, really want to. xD Unless you haven't read "Twilight" (you lucky dog), in which case you are excused.
5/18/2008 c1 9Vilstrup
Okay, this is gonna be a long, facinating story.
You write it damn well, and I can't wait to see the next chapter.
You describe the charicters well, and the humor that sometimes comes, makes me stick to this story like aring to a finger ;D
Now, one thing about the story is, that you should read it through again. There are a few places where you either repet a word, or you mispells it.
This only happens a few places.
Other than that, I look forward to the next chapter.
Keep up the good work ;P
9VilstrupOkay, this is gonna be a long, facinating story.
You write it damn well, and I can't wait to see the next chapter.
You describe the charicters well, and the humor that sometimes comes, makes me stick to this story like aring to a finger ;D
Now, one thing about the story is, that you should read it through again. There are a few places where you either repet a word, or you mispells it.
This only happens a few places.
Other than that, I look forward to the next chapter.
Keep up the good work ;P