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for Am I Really a Hero?

8/3/2010 c2 12Edalene Athene
This was compelling and poignent. My only criticism would be that it could have been much more detailed. I liked that it was, for the most part, in present tense as that is unusaul and lends a certain atmosphere to the story which helps it become real.
12/8/2008 c2 Latebrae
Interesting :)

I'm not quite sure how the first chapter plugs into this one, because the second chapter seems to stand by itself just fine :)

I think I would have liked to have seen a bit more small details, because I'm a sucker for such things.

Also consider the way you phrase some sentences.

such as:

"Both of the teenagers looked up as the flight division (mainly eagles and hawks) flew overhead."

could be altered to:

Both of the teenagers looked up as the flight division of eagles and hawks flew overhead.

Just small things like that can make a difference in my opinion.
12/8/2008 c2 16sweetdonalbain81507
I love that song. It's one of my favorites-both the original and the remake by Nickelback.

Oddly enough, I liked that I wasn't entirely sure what was going on. The namelessness, almost plotlessness, really added something, in my mind, though I couldn't say what.

My favorite line was, hands down, "He watched her, knowing that even if he lived, he would never be able to see her again." It really conveyed the damage that war does, even to the survivors.

Good job!
12/4/2008 c2 Miss Mysty
Hmm, short and to the point, methinks. Symphonia reminds me of that game Tales of Symphonia, and I've never even played it :P Shows how easily I'm influenced by the internet, huh?
12/4/2008 c2 20Chasmodai Blue
How very...depressing. And short. Poignant ending though.

Me thinks Shadow and I would get along. Maybe. If we didn't try to off each other at the earliest convenience. Which we would.

I liked it, mostly. A few grammatical/style issues (parenthesis, for instance, the irony of which is not lost on me), but definitely good. Just takes some polishing.

I recommend scrapping most of the lyrics and let the words speak for themselves. Different medium and all.

You has potential. And not the kind of 'potential' that talentless losers have because people feel sorry for them. No. The good kind. The you-just-need-a-little-work kind.
5/24/2008 c2 Delta736
That is an amazing ending!
5/23/2008 c2 12Genesis Rose
Ah. Good. Of course, the writing is very good here, so I want it to go on. If there were anything I were to fix here, it'd be the segment where you said

"Both of the teenagers looked up as the flight division (mainly eagles and hawks) flew overhead."

Instead of having the "maily eagles and hawks" in (), try putting the sentence in a different formation.

Try this instead.

"Both of the teenagers looked up as the flight division that was mainly eagles and hawks flew overhead."

The () is just a bit awkward to read and forces the reader to look over it more than once to make sure they read everything correctly.

Other than that, a nice little tale. I like the fact that it lacks a truly 'happily ever after' ending.

It would have been nice to see it continue, but, if you feel you must end it, so be it.
5/23/2008 c1 Genesis Rose
Your writing is quite good. Of course, this chapter is a bit short, but your description present here is quite fabulous. I think I'll read more, please post again soon.
5/23/2008 c1 Delta736
Good start.

Any more?

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