for Posthuman Herald10/4/2008 c7 
7C Shot
You were right in Science Fiction for Dummies.. different ideas do spice the hell out of a worn down genre. An intelligent crystal pillar/ city? Makes a damn good read.
This is probably my second favorite first person story as well. The first being All Quiet on the Western Front.
-Curtis
7C ShotYou were right in Science Fiction for Dummies.. different ideas do spice the hell out of a worn down genre. An intelligent crystal pillar/ city? Makes a damn good read.
This is probably my second favorite first person story as well. The first being All Quiet on the Western Front.
-Curtis
8/7/2008 c1 3Karsten
This has such a great first image - it's a pity you wander off into a phrase like "the undeclared actions had started quite a while before" and stay in that territory for the rest of the chapter. The writing is kind of dry: you use extremely formal language, repeat yourself (the word precise is used 3 times in less than 30 words), there are problems with simultaneous actions, etc etc. There's very little characterisation, unless you count the narrator being "precise" and acting "precisely" in every sentence. This piece suggests that the setting has an interesting blend of magic and technology, but to be honest, it's wasted if people don't hang in there long enough to find out.
3KarstenThis has such a great first image - it's a pity you wander off into a phrase like "the undeclared actions had started quite a while before" and stay in that territory for the rest of the chapter. The writing is kind of dry: you use extremely formal language, repeat yourself (the word precise is used 3 times in less than 30 words), there are problems with simultaneous actions, etc etc. There's very little characterisation, unless you count the narrator being "precise" and acting "precisely" in every sentence. This piece suggests that the setting has an interesting blend of magic and technology, but to be honest, it's wasted if people don't hang in there long enough to find out.
8/2/2008 c21 dreamshell
So, they downed the Citadel, captured the Prince, then vivisected him? Awesome! =D
So, they downed the Citadel, captured the Prince, then vivisected him? Awesome! =D
7/31/2008 c19 dreamshell
So, the Herald is starting to make its own broadcasts and Tiber wants to kill Marcus?
So, the Herald is starting to make its own broadcasts and Tiber wants to kill Marcus?
7/27/2008 c18 dreamshell
"Having to put up with it would either harden her resolve to fight the Normans, or at least make her numb to all the carnage around her."
Dude, that's sort of... sociopathic. o_o I mean, logistically, sure, but... damn.
Anyway, cool chap.
"Having to put up with it would either harden her resolve to fight the Normans, or at least make her numb to all the carnage around her."
Dude, that's sort of... sociopathic. o_o I mean, logistically, sure, but... damn.
Anyway, cool chap.
7/18/2008 c14 dreamshell
Nice. A little chit-chat over weapons with a gal while your machinations play themselves out. Sounds like a lovely afternoon. =D
Nice. A little chit-chat over weapons with a gal while your machinations play themselves out. Sounds like a lovely afternoon. =D
6/15/2008 c7 6The Crazy Talk Kid
It's not a great system but it's a stepping stone to better ones. So is this world similar to FoL? No horrific errors that I noticed. Kdh.
6The Crazy Talk KidIt's not a great system but it's a stepping stone to better ones. So is this world similar to FoL? No horrific errors that I noticed. Kdh.
6/15/2008 c5 2Chiideki
I have to say that this story is really, really cool. I like the concepts you use in the technology and world building part of it, especially the 'inverted entropy' of ruins becoming a city. You also provide just enough information to keep the reader in the know without overloading them, which is unfortunately quite common in these alternate-reality fics. Aside from a few grammatical oddities , this story seems quite solid, and I'm waiting eagerly to read more!
2ChiidekiI have to say that this story is really, really cool. I like the concepts you use in the technology and world building part of it, especially the 'inverted entropy' of ruins becoming a city. You also provide just enough information to keep the reader in the know without overloading them, which is unfortunately quite common in these alternate-reality fics. Aside from a few grammatical oddities , this story seems quite solid, and I'm waiting eagerly to read more!
6/5/2008 c5 10Crownbreaker
Looks interesting so far. I haven't noticed any glaring grammatical or spelling errors, so you're good on that front.
Is this part of the FoL timeline, or something separate?
10CrownbreakerLooks interesting so far. I haven't noticed any glaring grammatical or spelling errors, so you're good on that front.
Is this part of the FoL timeline, or something separate?
6/2/2008 c5 6The Crazy Talk Kid
You and killing the French. Can't blame you though.
- Type Nine, a common Norman explosive used for blasting down doors. While this door had been exposed to some, the reinforced constructed had prevented entry.
Seemed kind of awkward but otherwise nothing too noticeable. Kdh.
6The Crazy Talk KidYou and killing the French. Can't blame you though.
- Type Nine, a common Norman explosive used for blasting down doors. While this door had been exposed to some, the reinforced constructed had prevented entry.
Seemed kind of awkward but otherwise nothing too noticeable. Kdh.