for Stepbrothers7/7/2008 c6 Corrupted Lungs
Wow. WOW! That was really... hot. I need a cold shower now, thank God it's pouring rain outside. I do think Saul was a little too harsh on the poor kid though, even though he used to beat him up, he could've been better about it. Danny was probably scared to death. Aw!
Wow. WOW! That was really... hot. I need a cold shower now, thank God it's pouring rain outside. I do think Saul was a little too harsh on the poor kid though, even though he used to beat him up, he could've been better about it. Danny was probably scared to death. Aw!
7/7/2008 c6 
1PhaithMcCoy
WOO! SEX! Lolz. Enthusiasm out of the way.
Yay, though, really. It's about time.
I wonder how Saul is going to act now...
Okay, no plushie for Saul...hows about...OH! A plushie filled with dope? Yes.
Okay. Stupid prickface Pete. Okay.
HURRY WITH THE UPDATES!
1PhaithMcCoyWOO! SEX! Lolz. Enthusiasm out of the way.
Yay, though, really. It's about time.
I wonder how Saul is going to act now...
Okay, no plushie for Saul...hows about...OH! A plushie filled with dope? Yes.
Okay. Stupid prickface Pete. Okay.
HURRY WITH THE UPDATES!
7/7/2008 c6 3nonaccount
I think people are afraid of Saul because he is "hard" as Pete said, he's intense. He says and does things others generally wouldn't and that frightens people I'm sure.
Who is "the man" we keep hearing about? Is it one of his mom's old boyfriends or some guy at a park or something? Either way, it's disturbing.
I like this, "'No, moan like you ... jes' moan like you.'" Sweet.
And this made me laugh, "especially as I carefully penned out my number on the note."
3nonaccountI think people are afraid of Saul because he is "hard" as Pete said, he's intense. He says and does things others generally wouldn't and that frightens people I'm sure.
Who is "the man" we keep hearing about? Is it one of his mom's old boyfriends or some guy at a park or something? Either way, it's disturbing.
I like this, "'No, moan like you ... jes' moan like you.'" Sweet.
And this made me laugh, "especially as I carefully penned out my number on the note."
7/7/2008 c5 nonaccount
"But I felt it, felt the corpse-like remains of his kiss, felt the zombied ghost of his mouth on every splotch of color on my neck and chest." I love the analogy between their making out and dead things, especially "corpse-like" "kiss". And I'm sure it felt like a dead body in the room that they weren't discussing.
Even though it seems like a lot of change in a short period of time, (I guess he had an epiphanic moment and seized it) I'm really glad that Pete seems to be getting his shit together 'cause he was really pathetic before and now he seems like a nice, understanding older brother. Yay Pete! Speaking of which, how about a Pete and nameless guy from work oneshot? I know, I know I'm greedy, but I'd be interested to read about a loser pothead trying to clean up his life at a shitty job and someone taking an instant liking to him. Maybe? Please?
"But I felt it, felt the corpse-like remains of his kiss, felt the zombied ghost of his mouth on every splotch of color on my neck and chest." I love the analogy between their making out and dead things, especially "corpse-like" "kiss". And I'm sure it felt like a dead body in the room that they weren't discussing.
Even though it seems like a lot of change in a short period of time, (I guess he had an epiphanic moment and seized it) I'm really glad that Pete seems to be getting his shit together 'cause he was really pathetic before and now he seems like a nice, understanding older brother. Yay Pete! Speaking of which, how about a Pete and nameless guy from work oneshot? I know, I know I'm greedy, but I'd be interested to read about a loser pothead trying to clean up his life at a shitty job and someone taking an instant liking to him. Maybe? Please?
7/7/2008 c6 1Bedlam Chaos
I like Danny. He's kind of a "normal" guy but not in a bad way. I think he could/would learn to like/love Saul pretty easily, without thinking to much about anything else. The only thing is maybe his uptight father.
Saul... is more complex. I've a brother of 7, a sister of 8, a sister of 15 and a brother of 19. To imagine someone taking advantage of the three youngest... It gives me ideas of murder. To think about an eleven years old having sex... Even if he gave his consent... Saul could be so much more fucked up than he is.
I hope for Saul that this relationship will go further than just the physical part...
1Bedlam ChaosI like Danny. He's kind of a "normal" guy but not in a bad way. I think he could/would learn to like/love Saul pretty easily, without thinking to much about anything else. The only thing is maybe his uptight father.
Saul... is more complex. I've a brother of 7, a sister of 8, a sister of 15 and a brother of 19. To imagine someone taking advantage of the three youngest... It gives me ideas of murder. To think about an eleven years old having sex... Even if he gave his consent... Saul could be so much more fucked up than he is.
I hope for Saul that this relationship will go further than just the physical part...
7/7/2008 c6 2mia5081
So, I was getting to the REALLY good part of the story and them BAM, the computer shut off just like that-kaput, dead. Total crap. But I loved the chapter, especially how vulnerable Danny was in this chapter.
Update soon!
~mia
2mia5081So, I was getting to the REALLY good part of the story and them BAM, the computer shut off just like that-kaput, dead. Total crap. But I loved the chapter, especially how vulnerable Danny was in this chapter.
Update soon!
~mia
7/7/2008 c6 carlie
Review 97~
great storey.
Review 97~
great storey.
7/7/2008 c6 WitchGhost
Good chapter, well chapters since I haven't recived any emails on updates for the past three chapters.
Everything is starting to unravel slowly and the dialog still feels real. I've been dissapointed with most slash since allot of it is still infuesed with old yaoi cliches that always manage to annoy me, but your characters remain real; like the teenage boys feel like real teenage boys.
No seme or uke stereotypes here; keep it up!
Good chapter, well chapters since I haven't recived any emails on updates for the past three chapters.
Everything is starting to unravel slowly and the dialog still feels real. I've been dissapointed with most slash since allot of it is still infuesed with old yaoi cliches that always manage to annoy me, but your characters remain real; like the teenage boys feel like real teenage boys.
No seme or uke stereotypes here; keep it up!
7/7/2008 c6 6unheardmelodies
ooh, now i want to see some emotional development between them... and how they deal with each other at school (since we know danny used to beat the crap out of him)... m. pl update fast!
6unheardmelodiesooh, now i want to see some emotional development between them... and how they deal with each other at school (since we know danny used to beat the crap out of him)... m. pl update fast!
7/5/2008 c5 1Initially loaded
I quite like this...it's funny. Well actually it's not, but it think its really real, if that makes sense.
1Initially loadedI quite like this...it's funny. Well actually it's not, but it think its really real, if that makes sense.