for When We Were Free2/27/2009 c1 
11SuperSlurpee
This is really good, very... hm... what's the word... carefree and nostalgic. I like it. It makes me instantly want to create something new... =D
11SuperSlurpeeThis is really good, very... hm... what's the word... carefree and nostalgic. I like it. It makes me instantly want to create something new... =D
10/19/2008 c1 8Irresistible Apple
I'm envious of your ability to write a piece that rhymes, AND is actually good! I loved this, I agree it is relatable.
8Irresistible AppleI'm envious of your ability to write a piece that rhymes, AND is actually good! I loved this, I agree it is relatable.
9/27/2008 c1 6EmeraldCloudsIII
Short, sweet, and it carries a message, I hope your writers block goes away, because I like all the stuff you write.
SilverTearsGB (Adam)
6EmeraldCloudsIIIShort, sweet, and it carries a message, I hope your writers block goes away, because I like all the stuff you write.
SilverTearsGB (Adam)
9/4/2008 c1 73Bitch Du Jour
Ugh! Who hasn't felt this way? *sigh*
I like this a lot. It was short, sweet, and to the point. I really enjoyed it.
73Bitch Du JourUgh! Who hasn't felt this way? *sigh*
I like this a lot. It was short, sweet, and to the point. I really enjoyed it.
7/11/2008 c1 12Durak
Punctuation!
I think a comma or semi-colon (preferably the latter) at the end of line two would be an improvement; and I feel like "trace" /might/ be able to use a hyphen, but I'm not sure; I still like it as is.
Last line had me wondering; it read... funny.
Overall, though, it was a nice little ditty.
12DurakPunctuation!
I think a comma or semi-colon (preferably the latter) at the end of line two would be an improvement; and I feel like "trace" /might/ be able to use a hyphen, but I'm not sure; I still like it as is.
Last line had me wondering; it read... funny.
Overall, though, it was a nice little ditty.
6/15/2008 c1 588Setsuna529
Short, but it says a lot. It's something I can relate to, trying to move on but still getting caught up in the past. Good job with the rhymes. :)
588Setsuna529Short, but it says a lot. It's something I can relate to, trying to move on but still getting caught up in the past. Good job with the rhymes. :)
6/14/2008 c1 102Midnight In Eden
First of all, I think this poem needs more punctuation to give it more rhythm and flow especially as the last period feels kind of lonely. I'd recommend periods at the end of lines two and six.
I wouldn't mind some more vivid imagery though, just to give this a bit more spice. Right now it's a little flat in that department.
I like the last line though, it's simple and it perfectly wraps up the idea of this poem - a great climax.
Finally, check out the Review Marathon, it's a part of the Review Game - there's a link in my profile. Great way to give and receive reviews.
Midnight
102Midnight In EdenFirst of all, I think this poem needs more punctuation to give it more rhythm and flow especially as the last period feels kind of lonely. I'd recommend periods at the end of lines two and six.
I wouldn't mind some more vivid imagery though, just to give this a bit more spice. Right now it's a little flat in that department.
I like the last line though, it's simple and it perfectly wraps up the idea of this poem - a great climax.
Finally, check out the Review Marathon, it's a part of the Review Game - there's a link in my profile. Great way to give and receive reviews.
Midnight
6/14/2008 c1 14Thoughtful Silence
I really liked this. The rhyme felt natural - which is actually hard to achieve in my opinion :) - and I really liked the parallel structure of 'I'll try and fail a hundred more'. Writer's block though - it's the worst.
Anyways, keep up the good work.
-T.S.
14Thoughtful SilenceI really liked this. The rhyme felt natural - which is actually hard to achieve in my opinion :) - and I really liked the parallel structure of 'I'll try and fail a hundred more'. Writer's block though - it's the worst.
Anyways, keep up the good work.
-T.S.
6/13/2008 c1 9Soule Rellim
Very short, yet packed with tons of excellent description. This was magnificent, I liked it a lot.
9Soule RellimVery short, yet packed with tons of excellent description. This was magnificent, I liked it a lot.
6/12/2008 c1 306Ashelin
I understand desperation when it comes to writer's block. You begin to write things you never thought you would, and looking back you can't help but cringe in disgust that your fingers moved along the keys and formed those words. *shivers*
Of course, I doubt that will happen to you. This wasn't a bad poem in any sense. Quite short, but that's not usually a bad thing. Usually it means people will be more likely to read and review. The sad reality *sigh*. It was simple, but sweet. And the sadness in it oddly had a happy tone somewhere. I know, you probably don't think so at all, but perhaps it's just the music I'm listening to. Crazy what effects sound has on poetry. But this was good. Thanks for the review by the way. Good job.
306AshelinI understand desperation when it comes to writer's block. You begin to write things you never thought you would, and looking back you can't help but cringe in disgust that your fingers moved along the keys and formed those words. *shivers*
Of course, I doubt that will happen to you. This wasn't a bad poem in any sense. Quite short, but that's not usually a bad thing. Usually it means people will be more likely to read and review. The sad reality *sigh*. It was simple, but sweet. And the sadness in it oddly had a happy tone somewhere. I know, you probably don't think so at all, but perhaps it's just the music I'm listening to. Crazy what effects sound has on poetry. But this was good. Thanks for the review by the way. Good job.
6/10/2008 c1 17Unique1952
This came out really good for it to be a cure for writer's block. It's simple, but has a lot of meaning behind it. I liked reading this, nice work.
17Unique1952This came out really good for it to be a cure for writer's block. It's simple, but has a lot of meaning behind it. I liked reading this, nice work.
6/1/2008 c1 612simpleplan13
I like this. It's very bittersweet and relateable. Really great piece. Thanks for your review!
612simpleplan13I like this. It's very bittersweet and relateable. Really great piece. Thanks for your review!