for Tire Swing7/21/2010 c1 kamwe kukua
I think this could possibly be one of the sweetest, most uncliched, sardonic, beautiful stories that I have read on this website. I guess that since when I read romance-y stories, I'm so used to the average cliche, that this made me want to scream OH MY FREAKING GOSH! In a good way, of course. I really like Gretal. She reminds me a little of myself, cause last summer I went to the har salon and told them to do whatever they wanted to my hair. (biggest mistake EVER). And wouldn't it be amazing to have a shrink slash lover like Paul? Hahaa, but I'm getting sidetracked, thats not the point.
What I WANT to say is that this is definitely my new favorite oneshot and that you did an amazing job of writting it. :)
I think this could possibly be one of the sweetest, most uncliched, sardonic, beautiful stories that I have read on this website. I guess that since when I read romance-y stories, I'm so used to the average cliche, that this made me want to scream OH MY FREAKING GOSH! In a good way, of course. I really like Gretal. She reminds me a little of myself, cause last summer I went to the har salon and told them to do whatever they wanted to my hair. (biggest mistake EVER). And wouldn't it be amazing to have a shrink slash lover like Paul? Hahaa, but I'm getting sidetracked, thats not the point.
What I WANT to say is that this is definitely my new favorite oneshot and that you did an amazing job of writting it. :)
7/23/2009 c1 
5annoyance
This was one of the best oneshots I've read in a while. You have a brilliant style of writing, and I can't tell you how much I loved this story. Keep up the great work!
~Annoyance
5annoyanceThis was one of the best oneshots I've read in a while. You have a brilliant style of writing, and I can't tell you how much I loved this story. Keep up the great work!
~Annoyance
6/29/2009 c1 5Haeloed
aw! so sweet! i love it.
i love gretel! shes so crazy and loveable and paul is awesome!
Haeloed ;P
5Haeloedaw! so sweet! i love it.
i love gretel! shes so crazy and loveable and paul is awesome!
Haeloed ;P
6/28/2009 c1 mgouda
to put it simply: amazing.
so im not going to go on in a long review detailing how in love i am with this piece, but i will highlight a few of my favorite parts. well, here gos:
"I had a collection of men in my pocket—men I liked, that I could love, if I didn’t think I’d lose them. They were safer snug as a pen in a pocket protector." (amazing line, right there. very poetic, i think)
"He was a friend of my father’s, and much too old for me, like my skirt, that day, was much too short." (don't really know why, but there you go)
"Scotty was so typical that I hadn’t met anyone like him." (okay, thats just perfect. i re-read that a couple times while reading the story, i just liked it so much -shrug-)
“You didn’t even read the books, did you?” (brilliant :P)
"I wasn’t used to having to attract men..." and ..."I was known for making up extravagant lies on the spot..." (i liked these lines, only because i think it says a great deal about her character. or something :D)
“Your hands are cold,” he commented. “Always,” I replied. (no explanation)
"It was a man’s voice, so I was hesitant turning around." (another interesting line, because it, again, portrays Greta a bit, i think)
"Paul loved telling me why I was wrong. But he told me what was right with me more often, so I forgave him." (that was just cute)
"So much in life was timing, and they had all been quirky at the right moment, or wearing the right color on the right day." (i likes that explanation of Gretel's...choices in men)
"I joined in, and as my alto curled around the tangible notes of his tenor, the leaves came together and formed a couch that we both sat on, doll and giant, suddenly of equal sizes." (that was just really pretty)
"It had gotten ugly, and I didn’t like him enough for him not to be attractive at all times." (that made me smile)
“Well, you’re the kind of beautiful that goes with everyone, honey.” (:P)
“Sweetheart,” he said. “I’d been talking to you on my lunch break.” (ha! oh, Paul :D)
OKAY! so, there that is. i know, a little pointless, by thats okay. anyway, i loved this piece all together, and i think your writing is perfectly expressed through the more serious types of stories.
once again, great story.
to put it simply: amazing.
so im not going to go on in a long review detailing how in love i am with this piece, but i will highlight a few of my favorite parts. well, here gos:
"I had a collection of men in my pocket—men I liked, that I could love, if I didn’t think I’d lose them. They were safer snug as a pen in a pocket protector." (amazing line, right there. very poetic, i think)
"He was a friend of my father’s, and much too old for me, like my skirt, that day, was much too short." (don't really know why, but there you go)
"Scotty was so typical that I hadn’t met anyone like him." (okay, thats just perfect. i re-read that a couple times while reading the story, i just liked it so much -shrug-)
“You didn’t even read the books, did you?” (brilliant :P)
"I wasn’t used to having to attract men..." and ..."I was known for making up extravagant lies on the spot..." (i liked these lines, only because i think it says a great deal about her character. or something :D)
“Your hands are cold,” he commented. “Always,” I replied. (no explanation)
"It was a man’s voice, so I was hesitant turning around." (another interesting line, because it, again, portrays Greta a bit, i think)
"Paul loved telling me why I was wrong. But he told me what was right with me more often, so I forgave him." (that was just cute)
"So much in life was timing, and they had all been quirky at the right moment, or wearing the right color on the right day." (i likes that explanation of Gretel's...choices in men)
"I joined in, and as my alto curled around the tangible notes of his tenor, the leaves came together and formed a couch that we both sat on, doll and giant, suddenly of equal sizes." (that was just really pretty)
"It had gotten ugly, and I didn’t like him enough for him not to be attractive at all times." (that made me smile)
“Well, you’re the kind of beautiful that goes with everyone, honey.” (:P)
“Sweetheart,” he said. “I’d been talking to you on my lunch break.” (ha! oh, Paul :D)
OKAY! so, there that is. i know, a little pointless, by thats okay. anyway, i loved this piece all together, and i think your writing is perfectly expressed through the more serious types of stories.
once again, great story.
5/3/2009 c1 nonsenescent
Beautiful! I came across the song first (from the Juno soundtrack), and you managed to integrate the story really well. I love her dream-even though you didn't directly quote the song, it basically is "I sang along while I was swinging /
the sound of our voices made us forget everything /that had ever hurt our feelings."
My favorite part, however, would have to be "Joey was the only sex-addict I’d ever met. He called girls bikes, just for an excuse to say the word ride. And Joey never met a bike that he didn’t wanna ride." Genius. I was wondering how you'd fit that in.
Keep writing! :) You have some amazing talent. "Loose Lips" would be an interesting one, too. *hint, hint*
Beautiful! I came across the song first (from the Juno soundtrack), and you managed to integrate the story really well. I love her dream-even though you didn't directly quote the song, it basically is "I sang along while I was swinging /
the sound of our voices made us forget everything /that had ever hurt our feelings."
My favorite part, however, would have to be "Joey was the only sex-addict I’d ever met. He called girls bikes, just for an excuse to say the word ride. And Joey never met a bike that he didn’t wanna ride." Genius. I was wondering how you'd fit that in.
Keep writing! :) You have some amazing talent. "Loose Lips" would be an interesting one, too. *hint, hint*
4/30/2009 c1 63Let It Rain
SO ... GOOD ...
Really, this one rocks. Gretel was FASCINATING. Three thumbs up.
63Let It RainSO ... GOOD ...
Really, this one rocks. Gretel was FASCINATING. Three thumbs up.
3/29/2009 c1 Kjersti
Beautiful story. I loved it.
Beautiful story. I loved it.
12/14/2008 c1 8JamieBell
This was really beautiful. I love how you've managed to capture a millenium's worth of insecurities and put them into terms everyone can understand and relate to.
“Well, you’re the kind of beautiful that goes with everyone, honey.”
Fantastic line. I wish someone would say that to me. Haha.
I love your work. I'm so glad to have stumbled upon it.
8JamieBellThis was really beautiful. I love how you've managed to capture a millenium's worth of insecurities and put them into terms everyone can understand and relate to.
“Well, you’re the kind of beautiful that goes with everyone, honey.”
Fantastic line. I wish someone would say that to me. Haha.
I love your work. I'm so glad to have stumbled upon it.
9/8/2008 c1 Hidden Flowers
This is too cute. Okay, so maybe that isn't the best word, but it happens to be the best short story I've read in just about forever.
This is too cute. Okay, so maybe that isn't the best word, but it happens to be the best short story I've read in just about forever.
6/27/2008 c1 7sketchingaCYNiC
amazing. you definitely portrayed her well... though a bit vague in certain parts (i guess i didn't really understand it at the beginning) but overall this was a great piece. keep it up!
7sketchingaCYNiCamazing. you definitely portrayed her well... though a bit vague in certain parts (i guess i didn't really understand it at the beginning) but overall this was a great piece. keep it up!
6/18/2008 c1 4GrannyP
Hey, didn't I already read one of your challenge responses? Yes, I believe I did!
Anyway, this was very interesting... the character was one of those people that I don't normally sympathize with (okay, yeah,, another reviewer already said that, but I agree!) but I found myself secretly cheering for this one. She was very well-written.
I'm not at all familiar with the song that was used in this story, and I had a hard time really following along with the plot of the song... I didn't get it at all.
But other than that, the story was very entertaining! The idea of the "Tobys" was funny. And it was nice that she had Paul in the end. Great job!
4GrannyPHey, didn't I already read one of your challenge responses? Yes, I believe I did!
Anyway, this was very interesting... the character was one of those people that I don't normally sympathize with (okay, yeah,, another reviewer already said that, but I agree!) but I found myself secretly cheering for this one. She was very well-written.
I'm not at all familiar with the song that was used in this story, and I had a hard time really following along with the plot of the song... I didn't get it at all.
But other than that, the story was very entertaining! The idea of the "Tobys" was funny. And it was nice that she had Paul in the end. Great job!