for Slaves of the Moon11/18/2008 c9 ChristianAngel01
Whoa ohh my gosh Finally the truth has been reavealed my gosh and thats how she reacts that waas to be expected but I cant believe that she left wothout her sister man I dont understand what is she thinking?anywaz he better go run after her
Whoa ohh my gosh Finally the truth has been reavealed my gosh and thats how she reacts that waas to be expected but I cant believe that she left wothout her sister man I dont understand what is she thinking?anywaz he better go run after her
11/15/2008 c8 ChristianAngel01
Whoa That is a sad thought they will have to run their entire lives but with the help of kayne I bet that wouldnt be a proble lol finally the truth is being revealed I cant wait for their : oh I am a werewolf and your my mate chat lol
btw tHis was a great chapter
Whoa That is a sad thought they will have to run their entire lives but with the help of kayne I bet that wouldnt be a proble lol finally the truth is being revealed I cant wait for their : oh I am a werewolf and your my mate chat lol
btw tHis was a great chapter
11/14/2008 c7 ChristianAngel01
Whoa That s why she let carrie go with susan man she went to visit her father whoa it must be hard for her I wonder how will they get away hmm lol maybe they will get away with alittle hellp for her mate I cant wait to find out :D
Whoa That s why she let carrie go with susan man she went to visit her father whoa it must be hard for her I wonder how will they get away hmm lol maybe they will get away with alittle hellp for her mate I cant wait to find out :D
11/11/2008 c7 XxSiennaxX
Hey :)
I really love this story so far, it's really imaginative and your text flows really well and it's easy to read. The story is very intruiging and I can't wait to find out what happens next.
Update soon please :D !
Hey :)
I really love this story so far, it's really imaginative and your text flows really well and it's easy to read. The story is very intruiging and I can't wait to find out what happens next.
Update soon please :D !
11/4/2008 c7 Twist Their Emotions
Alright. A little to much dialogue. And it's a bit over done. But I think you're doing a good job with plot development. It could be paced better, but you're moving it along and you're developing a dynamic plot. Once again, character depth and more of a flow. Keep writing and I'm sure you'll get better and better. :)
Alright. A little to much dialogue. And it's a bit over done. But I think you're doing a good job with plot development. It could be paced better, but you're moving it along and you're developing a dynamic plot. Once again, character depth and more of a flow. Keep writing and I'm sure you'll get better and better. :)
11/3/2008 c6 Twist Their Emotions
Cute. I like her little sister. Perhaps make the events flow better and give all of your characters more depth.
Cute. I like her little sister. Perhaps make the events flow better and give all of your characters more depth.
11/3/2008 c6 ChristianAngel01
lol that was pretty funny I see kayne is a patient guy which is good for a girl in her case not being able to trust people It was great cant wait for the next chapter :D
lol that was pretty funny I see kayne is a patient guy which is good for a girl in her case not being able to trust people It was great cant wait for the next chapter :D
10/20/2008 c5 ChristianAngel01
Whoa lol that fang and Xavier dragged Emma to lunch ohh it was nice that they paid lunch for her, but what Juliet said I wouldnt say anything to her I would probably give her a murderous look and then walk away because I would be able to contain my rage when someone talks about my family like that. Her family might be perfect or good but family is still family
Anywaz This is my first time reading this story and I am looking forward to the next chapter soon I hope :)
Whoa lol that fang and Xavier dragged Emma to lunch ohh it was nice that they paid lunch for her, but what Juliet said I wouldnt say anything to her I would probably give her a murderous look and then walk away because I would be able to contain my rage when someone talks about my family like that. Her family might be perfect or good but family is still family
Anywaz This is my first time reading this story and I am looking forward to the next chapter soon I hope :)
10/20/2008 c4 ChristianAngel01
That was just sisterly love reminded me of my sisters. It really takes a big person to realize that you have to be strong I admire someone like that anywaz Great chapter it was great
That was just sisterly love reminded me of my sisters. It really takes a big person to realize that you have to be strong I admire someone like that anywaz Great chapter it was great
10/20/2008 c3 ChristianAngel01
lol that was soo cute and nice too the little sister part was sweet and kayne talking to emma looks like a good way to start getting to know each toher
lol that was soo cute and nice too the little sister part was sweet and kayne talking to emma looks like a good way to start getting to know each toher
10/20/2008 c2 ChristianAngel01
Whoa what a fight I cant even imagine going throught something like that oh I really like the fight it was awesome lol :)
Whoa what a fight I cant even imagine going throught something like that oh I really like the fight it was awesome lol :)
10/20/2008 c1 ChristianAngel01
whoa I would kill that evil girl ohh and I like the last part very good I am beginning to like this :)
whoa I would kill that evil girl ohh and I like the last part very good I am beginning to like this :)
6/2/2008 c2 
1Chee
Ah, sorry forgot to mention this.
On chapter one, this is pretty odd:
/I grabbed my notepad and pen from my apron and walked over to their booth putting on a big fake smile. "Good Afternoon. My name is Emma and I'll be your server today. Are you ready to order?"
Juliet looked up at me and sneered. She opened her mouth to speak, but the biggest of the three guys spoke first. "My brothers and I are new here. Could you please get us some menus and water?"/
Waitresses usually bring menus with them whenever they greet their customers. Whenever you go to a restaruaunt, do some research and study how they greet and serve you.
"My brothers and I are new here."
Why is that in there? That doesn't really matter when he wants water. Put that somewhere else, or simply cut it out. Emma has already introduced that in the first chapter.
Same thing with the menus, she should already have them.
Unless she forgot them while she was nagging herself over Juliet, and if she did remember to add that in the above paragraph.
1CheeAh, sorry forgot to mention this.
On chapter one, this is pretty odd:
/I grabbed my notepad and pen from my apron and walked over to their booth putting on a big fake smile. "Good Afternoon. My name is Emma and I'll be your server today. Are you ready to order?"
Juliet looked up at me and sneered. She opened her mouth to speak, but the biggest of the three guys spoke first. "My brothers and I are new here. Could you please get us some menus and water?"/
Waitresses usually bring menus with them whenever they greet their customers. Whenever you go to a restaruaunt, do some research and study how they greet and serve you.
"My brothers and I are new here."
Why is that in there? That doesn't really matter when he wants water. Put that somewhere else, or simply cut it out. Emma has already introduced that in the first chapter.
Same thing with the menus, she should already have them.
Unless she forgot them while she was nagging herself over Juliet, and if she did remember to add that in the above paragraph.