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for A moment in the carpark

2/2/2010 c1 8sealednectar
Sad ending. Well wriiten and easy to read, unlike their relationship.
10/27/2009 c1 26Mirabella
3/11/2009 c1 54Wiggity Wam
Wow. That last line falls like a thousand tons hitting the sea-floor. Damn. Good shit.
3/10/2009 c1 64Phi-Dono
ohh, this one is sad, but well written. i liked how you broke up the lines, it emphasized certain lines. the last four lines are my favorite.
2/1/2009 c1 poetree
how wonderfully you've captured my love life :]
6/11/2008 c1 24The FiboNACHI Sequence
Ouch! *laughs*

Very sad and bitter. I like it a lot. There's a storyline in here that remains unspoken but is still enforced.

6/9/2008 c1 88multiples of six
Beautiful. I used to have a friend who would sometimes act like she hated me jokingly or sometimes be all affectionate, and it was all in fun but it still kind of sets you on edge. I think it would just be that much worse in a romantic relationship where it wasn't a joke. Nicely written.
6/3/2008 c1 298Moon-Chaser
I really like this, the uncertainty of it all and I think that it is very relatable. I really do like this.

Keep it up.
6/3/2008 c1 87softreality
I really like the way you wrote this, I felt like I was dragging my feet on the concrete, and then I felt uncertain as well.

The ending was just purely amazing.
6/2/2008 c1 65Aquafied
the last opportunity i had to kiss someone

i told them to get out of my car

i still wonder if that was a mistake
6/2/2008 c1 1Generation Dead
This was very good.

It flowed really well, and I could see the images in my head.

You spelt tires wrong,

But, in general, this was a beautiiful piece
6/2/2008 c1 12BlackestOpal
This is an interesting form of poem. It's almost more of a narrative.

I like the description. You do a good job showing your uncertainty.

6/2/2008 c1 81thursdays and rain
yay, you're back!

the simplicity in this poem adds a nice touch..

6/2/2008 c1 46aberlemno
There is a very clear image of the place here, great choice of words, but you also evoke the ... I'm not sure how to put it, the feeling of being inside the narrator's head, the little thoughts that you maybe don't remember later as well as the big doubts that are also evident.
6/2/2008 c1 306Ashelin
I used to think that only in unsteady or unhealthy relationships there can be this uncertainty about things, but I think it happens to everyone once in a while. The constant struggle about it is what means there is something wrong. I liked the imagery and feelings of not knowing you portrayed in this. Good job.
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