
6/4/2008 c1 Counting Petals
Um. You need to proofread. A lot. I had a hard time reading this, between the typos, the misspellings, the run-on sentences, and just the general choppiness of it. I think a lot more description would help, too, because right now it's basically dialogue.
Um. You need to proofread. A lot. I had a hard time reading this, between the typos, the misspellings, the run-on sentences, and just the general choppiness of it. I think a lot more description would help, too, because right now it's basically dialogue.