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6/15/2008 c1 102Midnight In Eden
I wouldn't mind some structure to this, stanza breaks for one. I can see this as three four line stanzas. I also wouldn't mind some more specific imagery, just to concrete the more abstract phrasing of this piece. Also, perhaps mesh the three questions in the middle into one? Just to help the flow.

That said, I really enjoyed the colloquial feeling of this poem. It was brash but not completely casual and there was an accusatory tone that just fit well with the content. Overall, a nicely done piece.

Also, check out the Review Marathon (link in my profile). It's part of the Review Game and a reat way to give and receive reviews.

Midnight

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