for Confused Musings of a Girl Who Gets Shrek6/8/2009 c1 
4TiGgGeRalways12
Good job! I really like your writing style (if makes me smile). Keep it up!
Tig
4TiGgGeRalways12Good job! I really like your writing style (if makes me smile). Keep it up!
Tig
3/29/2009 c13 Kjersti
Beautiful story. I absolutely loved it.
Beautiful story. I absolutely loved it.
3/20/2009 c13 Miss Clyde
What a nice chapter. Emory seems a bit insane... But aren't we all when it comes to love? Anyway, I enjoyed reading this story. It presented a lot of issues teenagers go through and how one actually got through them. Good job.
What a nice chapter. Emory seems a bit insane... But aren't we all when it comes to love? Anyway, I enjoyed reading this story. It presented a lot of issues teenagers go through and how one actually got through them. Good job.
3/20/2009 c12 Miss Clyde
lol. Love the chapter title. This is a very good chapter. About time Emory says something. Can't wait to read the next chapter.
lol. Love the chapter title. This is a very good chapter. About time Emory says something. Can't wait to read the next chapter.
3/20/2009 c11 Miss Clyde
Sucks how when she opens up, she's only let down. I like the feel of this chapter even though there are a few grammar errors. I'll keep on reading...
Sucks how when she opens up, she's only let down. I like the feel of this chapter even though there are a few grammar errors. I'll keep on reading...
3/20/2009 c10 Miss Clyde
Great chapter. Emory's being a little hypocritical, nay? But she's not running from her problems, she just blocking them out. There are a few grammar and spelling errors, but those can be easily fixed. Sorry I can't write a longer review, but I'm getting tired. Still, I'll read on.
Great chapter. Emory's being a little hypocritical, nay? But she's not running from her problems, she just blocking them out. There are a few grammar and spelling errors, but those can be easily fixed. Sorry I can't write a longer review, but I'm getting tired. Still, I'll read on.
3/20/2009 c9 Miss Clyde
So much apathy in this chapter (see how it's not "emotion"). :D It's still pretty emotional, even though Emory is not. And I like how this read; I can't keep my eyes off the text. Good job!
So much apathy in this chapter (see how it's not "emotion"). :D It's still pretty emotional, even though Emory is not. And I like how this read; I can't keep my eyes off the text. Good job!
3/20/2009 c8 Miss Clyde
This chapters proves that sometimes being redundant is good. And I love the end. Pretty sad. Oz seemed like a decent guy (dpesite the fact that he was cheating). There are still those dialogue errors, but I think I told you enough. So, yeah. Great chapter!
This chapters proves that sometimes being redundant is good. And I love the end. Pretty sad. Oz seemed like a decent guy (dpesite the fact that he was cheating). There are still those dialogue errors, but I think I told you enough. So, yeah. Great chapter!
3/20/2009 c7 Miss Clyde
I like this chapter. And I hate how Oz tries to avoid the fact that he's cheating by focusing on Emory's eating problem. Not that it isn't bad, but hey, he's just been found making out with his girlfriend's sister. Not cool.
One thing really irked me. “Meet me out back after school.” He growls. Again, comma and lowercase. Another thing, "growls" is not a good dialogue tag. You can put something like "said angrily" but not growl.
Anyway, good chapter.
I like this chapter. And I hate how Oz tries to avoid the fact that he's cheating by focusing on Emory's eating problem. Not that it isn't bad, but hey, he's just been found making out with his girlfriend's sister. Not cool.
One thing really irked me. “Meet me out back after school.” He growls. Again, comma and lowercase. Another thing, "growls" is not a good dialogue tag. You can put something like "said angrily" but not growl.
Anyway, good chapter.
3/20/2009 c6 Miss Clyde
There were a few grammatical errors I spotted, especially in the beginning, but they can be easily fixed with proof reading. Anyway, this was an overall good chapter. Not much to say since nothing exceptionally interesting happened. I still like the narrator, even though she's probably one of the girls I'd hate in real life.
There were a few grammatical errors I spotted, especially in the beginning, but they can be easily fixed with proof reading. Anyway, this was an overall good chapter. Not much to say since nothing exceptionally interesting happened. I still like the narrator, even though she's probably one of the girls I'd hate in real life.
3/20/2009 c5 Miss Clyde
I like the details in this chapter. I'm guessing her mother's anorexic? And she seems a little messed up, too. No wonder she said those things. And wow, I didn't even realize it was the author's note until I finished the sentence. :D Anywa, I like the emotions you put into this. It's very real and true.
I like the details in this chapter. I'm guessing her mother's anorexic? And she seems a little messed up, too. No wonder she said those things. And wow, I didn't even realize it was the author's note until I finished the sentence. :D Anywa, I like the emotions you put into this. It's very real and true.
3/20/2009 c4 Miss Clyde
I really like how you used the weight issues in this chapter. Very unique. There were a few problems I have.
"“Sweets.” April’s sweet..." is a bit redundant. Try using other words.
"“Hey, Emory.” He says,". There should be a comma after "Emory" and "He" should be lowercase.
Otherwise, this is a good chapter. Another thing teens can relate to: their weight. And I love the end. Way to tick a guy off.
I really like how you used the weight issues in this chapter. Very unique. There were a few problems I have.
"“Sweets.” April’s sweet..." is a bit redundant. Try using other words.
"“Hey, Emory.” He says,". There should be a comma after "Emory" and "He" should be lowercase.
Otherwise, this is a good chapter. Another thing teens can relate to: their weight. And I love the end. Way to tick a guy off.
3/20/2009 c3 Miss Clyde
Interesting chapter. I like the concept. I'm currently reading This Lullaby even though I've lost most faith in young-adult books and find the main character's cynicism in both books similar. The "love's not real" kind. And the mother seems interesting. I don't think my mom would ever say that to me...
Anyway, there are a few grammatical errors and continuity errors. The sentences "I don’t think there’s a reason. I know there’s a reason." together don't make sense. Keep one, and delete the other. Also, in this chapter, you spell the boy's name "Stephen" when in the last chapter it was "Steven".
I still like the sort of "stream of consciousness" style. Even though it's organized, it's still interesting.
Interesting chapter. I like the concept. I'm currently reading This Lullaby even though I've lost most faith in young-adult books and find the main character's cynicism in both books similar. The "love's not real" kind. And the mother seems interesting. I don't think my mom would ever say that to me...
Anyway, there are a few grammatical errors and continuity errors. The sentences "I don’t think there’s a reason. I know there’s a reason." together don't make sense. Keep one, and delete the other. Also, in this chapter, you spell the boy's name "Stephen" when in the last chapter it was "Steven".
I still like the sort of "stream of consciousness" style. Even though it's organized, it's still interesting.
3/20/2009 c2 Miss Clyde
Interesting writing style, but some sentences don't really make sense. It's kind of like "stream of conscienceness", and that's all right as long as it makes sense.
I just love the description of the "first time". It's an accepted fact that it's not perfect and it hurts like HELL. Most of the time, it's more of a drunken mess. And more often than not you find yourself laying on a sunken in couch next to some guy named Joe and his girlfriend with a killer hangover afterwards (yeah, long story).
So I can completely relate. Good job with this chapter!
Interesting writing style, but some sentences don't really make sense. It's kind of like "stream of conscienceness", and that's all right as long as it makes sense.
I just love the description of the "first time". It's an accepted fact that it's not perfect and it hurts like HELL. Most of the time, it's more of a drunken mess. And more often than not you find yourself laying on a sunken in couch next to some guy named Joe and his girlfriend with a killer hangover afterwards (yeah, long story).
So I can completely relate. Good job with this chapter!
3/20/2009 c1 Miss Clyde
I like the beginning, and I believe many teen girls can relate. I used to always want to be with the "popular" crowd (ya know, the Hollister wearing popular, not the "everyone knows who you are, and it would be better if they didn't" popular). I even had a short stint with the cool kids that didn't last long. And now in high school, I recognize the complete idiocy of it all. I think this chapter displays that 'desperate need to belong' feeling.
And the straigh hair, which I can relate on a higher level. I was always made fun of because of my wild tresses, and I recently got a flat iron. I swear, it's my savior. I think a good song for your character to listen to is "I Am Not My Hair". :D But seriously, everyone wants good hair. It saves us from some of the torture bullies and society put us through.
Anyway, on to the more critical part of the review. I like how it flows. You started off with the "Jew girl" thing, and progressed to the actual deal: straight hair. I like your style, and there are only a few grammatical errors. Not too bad, but still, I'm a complete grammar nazi.
So...on to the next chapter! ;)
I like the beginning, and I believe many teen girls can relate. I used to always want to be with the "popular" crowd (ya know, the Hollister wearing popular, not the "everyone knows who you are, and it would be better if they didn't" popular). I even had a short stint with the cool kids that didn't last long. And now in high school, I recognize the complete idiocy of it all. I think this chapter displays that 'desperate need to belong' feeling.
And the straigh hair, which I can relate on a higher level. I was always made fun of because of my wild tresses, and I recently got a flat iron. I swear, it's my savior. I think a good song for your character to listen to is "I Am Not My Hair". :D But seriously, everyone wants good hair. It saves us from some of the torture bullies and society put us through.
Anyway, on to the more critical part of the review. I like how it flows. You started off with the "Jew girl" thing, and progressed to the actual deal: straight hair. I like your style, and there are only a few grammatical errors. Not too bad, but still, I'm a complete grammar nazi.
So...on to the next chapter! ;)