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for Heart Lotion SPF 20

6/13/2008 c1 3Jeex
Oh my this is good.

It is surprising to see such talent on Fictionpress. Usually people play into the cliches and phony 1 deminsional character. But you dicided to go away fromthe norm. This is so beautifully well-written with an intelligent hand that calls for an intelligetn reader. It makes me want to understand and participate to see if I can solve something before the boys can.

This is a masterpiece. The vocabulary is colourful and not without taste. The sentence struture really created a distinct feel that it the basis of this. The summary was what brought me in.

It was sweet and a little bitter and I loved it, I thought it was going to be another FP story that had no depth but the characters were so cute. I was blown away.

Speechless as I read the prologue. Just the prologue! It was infomative but left a mystery and had some humour with the "maybe it was in the water" twist. Very oringal.

I am already in love with the 5 main male leads. I can not wait to get to know them. I know that they will be so strong and I hope that I will like Honey just as much.

No critique as of yet, there are only the prologue and a chapter up so I don't have much to say. I dont' knwo what you only have 4 reviews but this is absolute wonderful writing and plotline.

If you abandon this I will come and find you. And i will pull a Misery on you. You know the one movie where the lady love this author guy so when she had the chance she took his hostage in her house and made him rewriting the ending so she would like it. Well I won't get into all that, but I will make sure you finish this.

I just hope that you are consistance in your writing, sometimes you find a good story but then after awhile it just drags on and on and it loses it intensity. but as long as you know what you're doing and maybe have an outline, you are on the right track.

Good luck, I'll be here right along with you!

LOVE,brielle
6/13/2008 c2 Snowbabykoala
i like how the story is going.. It's so mysterious. so it draws me in haha. update soon!
6/12/2008 c2 5Juneaux
Ooh, I love this so far. Rarely do I get the chance to read a story that I can't form any predictions about. I haven't a clue where this will go and I love it. Can't wait to read what happens next!
6/12/2008 c2 1sweetest summer
incredibly interesting. update soon! i cant wait.
6/9/2008 c1 10MaeMaes
:o This sounds really good! I'm incredibly curious as to what is going to happen next. :P I want to know more about these elites and what exactly their secret is. :] The tone of the prologue also sounds interesting. xD Keep writing! I definitely want to read about what happens next! =D
6/7/2008 c1 centenarian
Oh, this sounds really interesting. I really can't wait to hear more. But you sound scary...writer's block for years? That is...horrible. And frankly, I'm scared that you might get writer's block again and forget all about this story. Please, don't. This sounds like a good plot. I don't really have any constructive criticism at this point. Update soon. You're on alert.
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