for The Light10/28/2008 c1 
5K. Molle
not bad, but consider using better spacing. If you do that it might have a better effect.
5K. Mollenot bad, but consider using better spacing. If you do that it might have a better effect.
6/15/2008 c1 612simpleplan13
I think part of it was a bit contradictory because you call the light the last bit of hope, but then you say you are looking for "the slightest ember of hope."
"I eventually gave up, and I had drowned myself "... I think you should get rid of the had because it kinda changes the tenses a bit.
The whole light and dark thing is a bit cliche, but your descriptions, especially in the end definitely make it unique. I also like it because I can relate to it.
PS if you’re bored, check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (link in my profile)
612simpleplan13I think part of it was a bit contradictory because you call the light the last bit of hope, but then you say you are looking for "the slightest ember of hope."
"I eventually gave up, and I had drowned myself "... I think you should get rid of the had because it kinda changes the tenses a bit.
The whole light and dark thing is a bit cliche, but your descriptions, especially in the end definitely make it unique. I also like it because I can relate to it.
PS if you’re bored, check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (link in my profile)