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for Flying without Wings

1/28/2012 c1 1NeonTime
I really have no idea on whether I like this or not, but I appreciate it.
7/5/2008 c1 17Unique1952
This is very good; it makes me thing of some of my own writings (plot wise, not style). My plots often revolve around angsty situations like the one presented here and so I enjoyed reading this for it's plot as well for it being a different style from that which I am accustomed.

I like your descriptions in the story and how you described your characters on based on their feeling nd not solely on their appearences. The emotions depicted here are evident and illustrated very well presenting more about the characters than just telling their apperance could.

I especially like how you started the story, telling all that she was feeling and going through, setting us up for the story.

Overall this is a really good piece. I don't typically like reading one-shots because I get upset that their isn't more. However, I really enjoyed reading this and I look forward to reading more of your work.

-Unique
6/22/2008 c1 4Symposium
Wow, the description in this piece is absolutely amazing. I could feel exactly what she feels, understand her sorrow and shame. Oddly, it reminds me of my piece, the theme of struggling against someone more powerful than you and, while not entirely wanting it, unable to do anything else.

Great piece!
6/18/2008 c1 2LachelleMarie
First of all I like the fact that at first she seems nervous to be in the same room with him. I read this article once that said Humans are they only creatures on earth who stay in a situation even when their extincts tell them to get out of it. I pretty much based Reconstruction off of that and I kinda see that being replicated in this.

Obviously the she in the story realizes that the boy is trouble just from the way you said he stood so calm and collected which kind of implies that she was nervous.

Anyways enough of that rant. I like your dark writing. I mean happiness is always great too. But in general I a more of a dark writer so I guess I connect better when other people write dark stories. Plus its really hard to find something on fictionpress that is a good depressed story most of the time way to much stuff happens in the story and the characters are just way underdeveloped. I actually read this one story where the girl had a baby that died and all she did was move into an apartment with boyfriend and go to school. It was completely like that whole entire section of the story never happened. After the baby died it wasn't mentioned again and it just blew so much. ha. Anyways once again good job and I can't wait to read something else from you.

Also claps for both of us for surviving another hellish round of finals.

LaChelleMarie
6/17/2008 c1 10itsanawkardlife
This is a good story, and well written. But i find that rape scenes always tend to be the same. Don't get me wrong, you use very good language and descriptions, I'm just used to reading these things. There really is nothing you can do about that, without completely altering the story. Maybe make it darker, more graphic, if you have the stomach. A lot of writers won't go into detail, and that is understandable.

That being said, I would've liked to know more about the main character, and her relationship with him.

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