for Chronicles of Arania4/23/2001 c4 happyhornyseal
I wanna read more! Keep going! ^_^
I wanna read more! Keep going! ^_^
14/16/2001 c1 Chica del Hindustan
I am in wonder about your title and what it has to do with the story, but I suppose I shall find out if I read on. It is very nice. I find myself wanting to read more and see what these few enchanted characters are all about. I guess that is what an author seeks, readers. I am not very technical or versed in critiquing. Me gusta. ^^
I am in wonder about your title and what it has to do with the story, but I suppose I shall find out if I read on. It is very nice. I find myself wanting to read more and see what these few enchanted characters are all about. I guess that is what an author seeks, readers. I am not very technical or versed in critiquing. Me gusta. ^^
4/14/2001 c2 demon
Well Done. You have a fluent and inviting narrative able to create an exciting fantasy world. However your dialogue could be better. It seems a little dis-jointed and unnatural. I like your character names although calling the story the Chronicles of Arania is not cheesy or tacky, its just unoriginal. C. S. Lewis' novels all had different titles anyway, try to think of something new. What exactly are catboys? You never actually explain. If you explained them more and then perhaps gave them a more fantastical name then they may seem more likely to be found in a fantasy world. E-mail me if you think I speak bollocks, or if you have anything to say to me. demon.
Well Done. You have a fluent and inviting narrative able to create an exciting fantasy world. However your dialogue could be better. It seems a little dis-jointed and unnatural. I like your character names although calling the story the Chronicles of Arania is not cheesy or tacky, its just unoriginal. C. S. Lewis' novels all had different titles anyway, try to think of something new. What exactly are catboys? You never actually explain. If you explained them more and then perhaps gave them a more fantastical name then they may seem more likely to be found in a fantasy world. E-mail me if you think I speak bollocks, or if you have anything to say to me. demon.