for The Hazards Of Smoking9/21/2008 c1 
3Curry Powder
Oh, I see she reviewed this one too...
What can I say that hasn't been said before on this piece? Vivid imagery, a very strong protagonist (antagonist?) and a off-kilter sense of humour that I'm not alone in appreciating, apparently. Excellent job, sir.
-Curry.
3Curry PowderOh, I see she reviewed this one too...
What can I say that hasn't been said before on this piece? Vivid imagery, a very strong protagonist (antagonist?) and a off-kilter sense of humour that I'm not alone in appreciating, apparently. Excellent job, sir.
-Curry.
8/19/2008 c1 FuckMeAlice
Okay, first off- Katja is probably the most bad-ass chick I have encountered on this site. I can totally imagine her accent, and it's awesome.
For the first few paragraphs, I thought she had already killed him and was talking to his bloody mangled corpse or something like that. But it turned out way better than that, didn't it :)
I also love how she's so casual about the whole thing, especially the matches. Can I relate to the vanishing matches? Definitely.
Good job.
-Stardust.
Okay, first off- Katja is probably the most bad-ass chick I have encountered on this site. I can totally imagine her accent, and it's awesome.
For the first few paragraphs, I thought she had already killed him and was talking to his bloody mangled corpse or something like that. But it turned out way better than that, didn't it :)
I also love how she's so casual about the whole thing, especially the matches. Can I relate to the vanishing matches? Definitely.
Good job.
-Stardust.
8/19/2008 c1 10FrameJock
In another lifetime, I used to play an RPG called 'Shadowrun.' The last character that I regularly played was a former Soviet agent named Red Sonja. Your story of Katja reminds me very much of my Sonja.
To go along with that, the smooth flow of 'what needs to be done' with 'what has been done,' and her coldness of making the two meet works very well.
I see no bad here, only the potential for greatness in chapters that are hopefully to come.
I see that there's another story here with that name. Must get to reading it as well.
10FrameJockIn another lifetime, I used to play an RPG called 'Shadowrun.' The last character that I regularly played was a former Soviet agent named Red Sonja. Your story of Katja reminds me very much of my Sonja.
To go along with that, the smooth flow of 'what needs to be done' with 'what has been done,' and her coldness of making the two meet works very well.
I see no bad here, only the potential for greatness in chapters that are hopefully to come.
I see that there's another story here with that name. Must get to reading it as well.
8/10/2008 c1 Bellanyx
I absolutely love this piece. Because of my heritage, I find it very interesting to read anything about Russia, especially when it's done in such a vivid manner. Thank you for writing such an excellent piece. I adore the fact that Katja is so collected throughout the entire scene, and the line "Show the bravery of a true son of Russia!" is so powerful, in my opinion, because of what has happened in Russia's history, and it really rings true to the whole piece, uniting it under one theme for me.
Thank you for writing such a wonderful, imaginative and expertly written piece. I'll be sure to read more.
Keep Writing!
Coma
I absolutely love this piece. Because of my heritage, I find it very interesting to read anything about Russia, especially when it's done in such a vivid manner. Thank you for writing such an excellent piece. I adore the fact that Katja is so collected throughout the entire scene, and the line "Show the bravery of a true son of Russia!" is so powerful, in my opinion, because of what has happened in Russia's history, and it really rings true to the whole piece, uniting it under one theme for me.
Thank you for writing such a wonderful, imaginative and expertly written piece. I'll be sure to read more.
Keep Writing!
Coma
8/2/2008 c1 88Chidori Nadare
[Here's that review I'm supposed to be giving a long time ago...]
I usually don't review stories as much as I do with poem so this may not exactly the best review. Here it goes...
So, there are nice descriptions here. I find that the aesthetics of the characters are a bit perfect but they are realistic in terms of personalities. Also, I find the dialogues of Katja really written well and they do not sound overblown or lacking.
"Do you mind if I smoke, my friend?" That line really worked since it reflected that deep Russian accent that she's supposed to have.
On the not so good side, I find that some of the sentences are too long/has run-ons which makes the flow of the story quite draggy(?)...but then if you compare it to the positive aspects of the stories, it's not that much.
For something of a sample story, this is actually good. I would like to see you expand this to full novel or something. Good luck. =)
-C.N (Chidori Nadare from the Roadhouse)
88Chidori Nadare[Here's that review I'm supposed to be giving a long time ago...]
I usually don't review stories as much as I do with poem so this may not exactly the best review. Here it goes...
So, there are nice descriptions here. I find that the aesthetics of the characters are a bit perfect but they are realistic in terms of personalities. Also, I find the dialogues of Katja really written well and they do not sound overblown or lacking.
"Do you mind if I smoke, my friend?" That line really worked since it reflected that deep Russian accent that she's supposed to have.
On the not so good side, I find that some of the sentences are too long/has run-ons which makes the flow of the story quite draggy(?)...but then if you compare it to the positive aspects of the stories, it's not that much.
For something of a sample story, this is actually good. I would like to see you expand this to full novel or something. Good luck. =)
-C.N (Chidori Nadare from the Roadhouse)
7/24/2008 c1 6TheOnyxKeyMaster
Hey this line im srry was SUPER chessy I quote "Do you mind if I smoke, my friend?" I mean who the heck says that? Certainly not the people of today and u say my story is not worth taking a look at! HAHA! u need to get out more and read some good stories ok? And I didn't mean to offend u by saying that on ur 1 story review thingy i relieze I should have commented on the story so I'll do it now it was alright but I wouldn't mind not ever looking over it again. There u go and srry.
6TheOnyxKeyMasterHey this line im srry was SUPER chessy I quote "Do you mind if I smoke, my friend?" I mean who the heck says that? Certainly not the people of today and u say my story is not worth taking a look at! HAHA! u need to get out more and read some good stories ok? And I didn't mean to offend u by saying that on ur 1 story review thingy i relieze I should have commented on the story so I'll do it now it was alright but I wouldn't mind not ever looking over it again. There u go and srry.
7/19/2008 c1 14Thoughtful Silence
Since this read... pretty much the same as the other, I reiterate my previous compliments. There are nice descriptions (though some sentences again, too long) and your characters, though film-like in aesthetics, are realistic in substance.
In the first paragraph you say 'couldn't be helped' and then on the next sentence 'couldn't be avoided' which sounded a little too repetitive to me. Also in that paragraph, there is already implications as to Katja’s bipolar-ness (not a word, but true nonetheless). Though she is a bit more controlled in this one, all calmness no tears... which was good (though I did miss Eddie's humour).
What I noticed is that when Katja speaks, there are very little Russian idiosyncrasies ('cept for the stereotypical ",yes?" when she finishes speaking) 'specially for someone with “a strong Russian accent”. Also, when Katja talks, you often use an exclamation mark, which doesn’t really reflect the voice of someone acting as calm as she was (I.E. talking a little breather whilst admiring a kitchen).
I liked the ending of this one as well, pretty much because it is the reflection of the other; with a nice little amalgamation of humour, sarcasm and cheesiness. Though it kinda feels like a signature gimmick now, which I didn't like.
Anyways, good job on this and keep up the good work.
- Silence, courtesy of The Roadhouse.
14Thoughtful SilenceSince this read... pretty much the same as the other, I reiterate my previous compliments. There are nice descriptions (though some sentences again, too long) and your characters, though film-like in aesthetics, are realistic in substance.
In the first paragraph you say 'couldn't be helped' and then on the next sentence 'couldn't be avoided' which sounded a little too repetitive to me. Also in that paragraph, there is already implications as to Katja’s bipolar-ness (not a word, but true nonetheless). Though she is a bit more controlled in this one, all calmness no tears... which was good (though I did miss Eddie's humour).
What I noticed is that when Katja speaks, there are very little Russian idiosyncrasies ('cept for the stereotypical ",yes?" when she finishes speaking) 'specially for someone with “a strong Russian accent”. Also, when Katja talks, you often use an exclamation mark, which doesn’t really reflect the voice of someone acting as calm as she was (I.E. talking a little breather whilst admiring a kitchen).
I liked the ending of this one as well, pretty much because it is the reflection of the other; with a nice little amalgamation of humour, sarcasm and cheesiness. Though it kinda feels like a signature gimmick now, which I didn't like.
Anyways, good job on this and keep up the good work.
- Silence, courtesy of The Roadhouse.
6/20/2008 c1 5FairlyOddGirl16
wow, again. another great story. i said this before, but u truly are an excellent writer. i love these stories, especially Katja's character. anway, i'll be waiting for some more of these stories. keep up the excellent work!
5FairlyOddGirl16wow, again. another great story. i said this before, but u truly are an excellent writer. i love these stories, especially Katja's character. anway, i'll be waiting for some more of these stories. keep up the excellent work!